The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone
by thegenuineimitation
Summary: Four people, desparate to change their desolate future, break all the rules and lock several people in a room with an important book. Characters Read!
1. Chapter 1: Trapped

**The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone**

**Chapter One:** Trapped

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter

**Author's Note:** This is what comes of being completely writer's blocked on a dreary sunday morning, I jump on the character's read bandwagon. Please don't hate me forever!

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><p><strong>The Future<strong>

"You're not strong enough for this," said one wizard to another.

"Blatant lies and slanderous rumours," grinned the other wizard getting up from a hospital bed with a grunt of effort and leaning heavily on a cane.

The grin quickly transformed into more of a pained grimace, instantly belying the wizard's previous statement.

"You don't have to do this now, unlike us they have time," the other wizard pointed out.

The wizard with the cane gave a noncommittal grunt and began slowly and stiffly making his way towards the door.

"One of these day your idiotic stubbornness is going to get you killed," sighed the other wizard in a put upon tone of voice that suggested the argument was not a new one.

"And on that day you can say I told you so, but until then shut up,"

There was the click of authoritative boot heels in the hall for a moment and a mere moment later a witch strode into the room and scowled at the sight she beheld there.

"Now you're in trouble," muttered the other wizard gleefully.

"What are you doing out of bed?" she scolded hands on her hips.

"It is time," said the wizard with the cane.

The witch's face cleared of all expression.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Not gonna get another storm like this anytime soon unless we relocate to Azkaban and make nice with some Dementors," shrugged the wizard limping towards the door.

The witch bit her lip for a moment clearly debating something.

"Alright then," she said finally moving back towards the door and holding the bed sheet that served as the infirmary's door covering out of the way for the wizard with the cane.

The other wizard quickly moved to support him slinging his free arm over his shoulder and wrapping a firm arm around his waist.

The wizard scowled.

"I can bloody well walk on my own,"

"Of course you can," said the other wizard patronizingly.

"Stop it you two," the witch ordered as she led them briskly through long twisting and dank corridors filled with people going about their daily business.

A few people stopped to bow, salute, nod, or throw out a quick "Evenin' Generals," as they passed but most ignored them turning over in their patchy blankets or taking a sudden interest in their stale rations.

"All the preparations have been made, the books have been safely summoned and transported," the witch informed them.

"No interference?" asked the wizard supporting the wizard with the cane, his eyebrow arching in surprise.

"None, all the magic dampening worked like a charm and then of course the muggle woman had no idea what she was writing about, in fact we were getting a bit twitchy with the lack of Death Eaters," the witch explained tiredly leading them to one of the only rooms in the labyrinth of tunnels with a proper door.

The door was made of three inch thick steel slab and was marked with a plaque that read in unmistakable thick black letters, Danger: Magical Experimentation in Progress.

The wizard banged the knobby head of his cane on the door forcefully a few times. After a moment or two there was a great clanking noise and the door opened to reveal a petite witch with goggles that made her already large eyes look truly cartoonish.

"Oh, you're here," said the witch looking mildly surprised, "Should you really be out of bed?" she asked the wizard with the cane.

"I'm fine," grumbled the wizard.

"Oh, alright then," said the witch with the goggles stepping aside to let them inside the redesigned muggle morgue.

With a flick of her wand the door clanged shut and everybody shivered as they felt the powerful offensive and defensive warding go up, crackling like little static shocks against their skin.

"Everything is in order, we finished last night," the petite witch said.

The steel tables had been cleared away and now all that remained was an extremely detailed runic ritual circle with a clear circular space, about a foot in diameter, in the centre. In the very centre of the whole thing was a thin book bound with red leather and with gold embossed writing on the front. Five other similar books of varied sizes were stacked together on a countertop in the very back of the room.

"Are we all ready?" asked the wizard with the cane.

Those assembled nodded and the four of them took seats at each of the four compass points of the circle. They sat in silence clearing their minds and waited for a long while until they were focussed and breathing in unison. Then, ever so gently, they let their magic seep from their bodies and pool around them contained by the circle. Their power intertwined in ribbons of silver, white, blue, and violet and with slow steady concentration as one the magic users reached for the breathless energy of the storm above them. It snarled and lashed a living thing that writhed and tried to feed off the magic to perpetuate itself and become a true hell conjured witchstorm. Instead it found itself deftly channelled lured into serving the purpose of the entwined magics and thus the witches and wizards.

Outside the labyrinth of tunnels four bolts of lightning struck at the exact same time leaving equidistant scorch marks in the Earth and tolling a deafening roll of thunder.

Inside the converted morgue the energy from the lightning bolts was channelled into the black stones that sat entwined in the runic circle in front of each of the magic users. The whole circle glowed with a fiery opalescent light for a single second and then disappeared sending sharp shards of clear crystal flying everywhere as for a brief moment a vortex of violent purple light appeared where the centre of the circle had been.

Quicker than a thought the lightening charged and, still merged with the magic and wills of its summoners, surged through the vortex after the book and located the bright familiar magical signatures set the necessary spells in motion.

Just barely pulling their tangled and volatile magic back through the rip into the morgue in time the vortex collapsed in a spectacular implosion that dissolved three layers of defensive and containment warding. The supercharged magic swirled with all the danger and majesty of a mile wide tornado for a bit, untangling itself, and then abruptly slammed back into the witches and wizards leaving them unconscious in the room magically exhausted and surrounded by bits of shattered crystal.

They would awaken hours later, triumphant, but with pounding headaches, feeling as weak as newborn kittens as they eagerly watched events unfold through the enchanted standing mirror tucked safely into the back corner of the room.

**June 1995 – Transfiguration Office **

"You wanted to see me Professor?" said Ron poking his nose into McGonagall's office.

"Yes, come in Mr. Weasley,"

Ron entered the familiar office and was met with an odd sight. Professor McGonagall was looking distinctly exasperated while Snape and Ron's older twin brothers were engaged in a glaring contest. In the corner looking distinctly amused sat Albus Dumbledore, comfortably ensconced in a squashy purple armchair with a cup of tea, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Fred? George? What're you lot doing here?" asked Ron confused.

"Ronnikins!" chorused the twins turning sudden malicious grins on their youngest brother.

Ron turned red and scowled.

"Don't call me that!" he snapped annoyed as he found himself sandwiched between his two maniac prankster brothers.

"We just heard about-"

"-you're little excursion,"

"And wanted to make sure-"

"-you were all healed up, as well as-"

"-congratulate you,"

"On a fine bit of mischief," they finished in chorus with proud grins and copious back slapping.

If it was possible Snape's scowl became even more pronounced.

"You've seen Gin already then," Ron said.

"Of course," said Fred.

"Who knew our dear sweet baby sister had such a disobedient spirit," sniffed George wiping away a non-existent tear.

Ron snorted and rolled his eyes at the dramatics.

"Well as you can see I'm fine, Madame Pomfrey fixed me right up, said the scars will fade by the end of Summer Hols," Ron shrugged nodding to the thin white stripes wrapped around his arms.

"Good thing too," said George.

"Mum's gone completely ballistic," Fred explained.

"Best not to have reminders about for too long,"

"Too right," groaned Ron imagining how his mother would fuss and lecture.

"Speaking of ballistic-" started Fred

"Where's Harry?" they chorused.

"Er..." Ron glanced uncomfortably at the teachers, "In the library I think,"

"What!" chorused the twins.

"Our Harry-" moaned Fred.

"-gone to the Dark Side," groaned George swooning into his brother's arms.

Snape snorted.

"If you'll excuse me Headmaster, I detest amateur theatre productions," sneered the Potions Master moving to sweep out of the office in his usual fashion.

Just as he reached for the door handle the door swung open and Snape narrowly avoided having the door slammed into his face. He glared menacingly at the intruder who happened to be Draco Malfoy.

"You wanted to see me Professor McGonagall," said the blond arching one thin eyebrow.

McGonagall frowned.

"No, Mr. Malfoy," she answered.

"Not to seem rude, but then why did you have Lovegood give me this note?" sneered Malfoy handing the note in question to the scowling Transfiguration professor.

As McGonagall read the note her scowl transformed into a thin lipped frown of confusion, "How strange," she said.

The note read:

_Mr. Malfoy, _

_Please see me in my office. _

_Professor McGonagall_

All of a sudden there was a loud roll of echoing thunder and a flash of opalescent light. The door to the Transfiguration Office shut with a shorter slamming noise before promptly disappearing into the wall.

"Is everybody alright?" asked Dumbledore seriously banishing the resultant thick purple smoke with a wave of his wand.

"Fine," growled Snape brushing bits of sparkling dust off his robes.

"We're all unharmed Albus," McGonagall said and with a wrinkled nose and a muttered word, her sparkly office was once again spick and span.

In fact the only sparkles left in the room were those that had landed on Severus Snape.

"Really Minerva," Dumbledore said flicking his own wand at Snape and removing the last of the sparkle dust from the fuming Potions Master.

The Weasleys tried very hard to hold in their laughter, but nothing could conceal their wide grins.

"Five points from Gryffindor, for your blatant disrespect!" snarled Snape.

"Really Severus!" huffed McGonagall annoyed.

"Not to interrupt-"

"-what promises to be a highly entertaining-"

"-row between you Professors, but-"

"What do you suppose that is for?" chorused the twins.

The room's occupants turned to the scorched looking spot in the middle of the Office where the Weasley twins were pointing. There sat a book as innocently as you please. It was bound with supple red leather and the title and author was embossed on the front cover in gold.

"It's a book," said Ron leaning closer to get a better look.

"Thank you Weasley, for stating the glaringly obvious," sneered Malfoy.

"Boys," warned McGonagall sharply.

Dumbledore waved his wand over it a few times and then gingerly picked it up.

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, by JK Rowling," he read.

This news of course sent Snape and Malfoy into instant scowls.

"It's a book about Harry," said Ron leaning closer.

"So it would appear Mr. Weasley, though the book was apparently written by a muggle, how curious," said Dumbledore delightedly examining the first few pages of the book.

"As fascinating as this promises to be, I have work to attend to," Snape said sarcastically once again turning towards the door.

"I'm afraid you won't be getting out that way, Severus, my dear boy," chuckled Dumbledore, "We are, quite certainly, trapped,"

"Trapped! Albus..."

"Not to fret Minerva, there is a letter in the front cover that I am sure will explain everything to our satisfaction," Dumbledore said setting the book down on the arm of his armchair and settling back down in it to read the letter aloud.

"_To Whom it May Concern, _

_If you are reading this letter then the ritual has been successful and in front of you sits one of six books written by one JK Rowling about a mutual acquaintance of ours, Mr. Harry James Potter. Please know that until you read this book you are trapped in the room, and although others may eventually enter none of you will be permitted to leave. We apologize if our methods seem forceful, but you must trust us when we tell you they are necessary. Once this book is read you will be released until such time as we can send the second book. Do not try to escape us, for we insist the books be read. It is a matter of the utmost importance to the future of the Wizarding World. _

_Your Friends in Time,_

_The Generals"_

"Well, that's not vague at all," snorted Ron.

"It is rather lacking in why, isn't it Mr. Weasley," agreed Dumbledore.

"I suppose we better get started," sighed Fred.

"If we're late for dinner again, Mum will have conniptions," agreed George.

"Now wait just a minute, I'm not about to sit in a room for hours hearing about Golden Potter's acts of stupidity as told by muggles!" snapped Malfoy.

"I am quite in agreement with Mr. Malfoy, Potter's book has nothing whatsoever to do with me," sneered Snape.

"You may of course, do what you feel is best, but I feel certain you will not be able to leave the room, not after the Generals went through so much effort and subterfuge to get you here," Dumbledore said eyes twinkling merrily.

"I suppose we ought to take turns reading," sighed McGonagall resigned.

"Excellent suggestion Minerva, who would like to go first?" asked Dumbledore.

"I'll do it," said Ron shrugging.

"Very good Mr. Weasley, five points to Gryffindor for such a positive attitude," said Dumbledore.

Snape scowled darkly at Ron and then pointedly turned his back on the group gathering in the corner of McGonagall's office around Dumbledore's armchair and began casting all manner of spells on the area where the door had once been. Malfoy, at Snape's terse instruction, was performing a similar test on the window. Evidently to two Slytherins were determined to thwart the book and escape McGonagall's office.

Privately, McGonagall thought they had little hope of success, after all anyone powerful enough to open a portal through space and time was certainly powerful enough to ensure they couldn't escape. She levitated her chair around from behind her desk and positioned it around the coffee table as the others got settled into the other chairs and turned their attention to Ron.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Please review and let me know what you guys think, any suggestions on plot or situations that could occur in the Readingverse as I've started referring to it are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning of a Story

**The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone**

**Chapter Two: The Beginning of a Story**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter; all bolded text is taken either from the book Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone or the movie by the same title and I do not own it.

**Author's Note:** Alright, thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorited...a surprising number considering you've only had a few hours window of opportunity. Hope you enjoy this next installment.

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><p>"Right then, everyone settled?" asked Ron clearing his throat a bit.<p>

"Whenever you are ready Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said impatiently.

"Right, **Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived,"**

**Mr. And Mrs. Dursley of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.**

Fred and George gave identical disbelieving snorts.

"If those Muggles are normal-"

"-then we're the Queen of England!"

"Can it, you lot, I didn't write the bloody book!" said Ron.

"Language Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said sternly.

"Sorry Professor," said Ron unapologetically.

**They were the last people you would expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

"Nonsense indeed," huffed McGonagall.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. **

"What's a drill?" asked Fred.

"Some muggle thing that makes holes in the walls and helps people build things, nutters is what it is, how in the name of Merlin can making holes be helpful in building anything," grumbled Ron in what was clearly a familiar state of disgusted incomprehension.

"Be that as it may, it doesn't seem likely it is relevant Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said pointedly.

"Right,"

**He was a big beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which was very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbours. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. **

This drew a disbelieving snort from all the Weasley's and Professor McGonagall, they had after all, all had the displeasure of coming into contact with Dudley Dursley at one time or another.

"Continue, if you please, Mr. Weasley," urged Dumbledore gently.

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. **

"Sensible muggles," Snape commented.

"I thought this book held no interest for you Severus," snapped McGonagall.

**Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband**

"Truer words were never spoken," muttered Snape.

**Were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. **

"Good on them!" chorused the twins.

**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that. **

At this Malfoy finally had to comment.

"As if the spawn of the Muggles would be fit to stand in a wizard's presence even if it was the blood traitors like the Potters," he sneered.

"Mr. Malfoy," warned McGonagall sharply.

Malfoy sneered and went back to his window.

**When Mr and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, grey Tuesday morning our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work **

"Why the most boring tie?" asked Fred.

"Why not the third most boring one?" added George.

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. **

"How charming," sneered Malfoy.

"Remind you of your childhood does it?" said George.

"Boys!"

**None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window.**

"Muggles," snorted Fred amusedly.

"So busy ignoring magic they don't see it when it's right under their noses," George finished.

"Lucky that, considering some of the stories Dad tells," Ron put in.

**At half-past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at walls. **

"**Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. **

"Tyke-"

"Perhaps-"

"Little-"

"Doubtful," chorused Fred and George.

"What do you lot have against St. Potter's family?" sneered Malfoy, curious despite himself at all the cutting remarks spilling from the lips of noble mudblood loving Gryffindors about a bunch of Muggles.

"Just wait and see Malfoy," said Fred darkly.

**He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive. **

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar-**

A sharp twang and a curse from Snape as he clutched his knee interrupted the story this time.

"Really Severus," sighed McGonagall exasperatedly.

She flicked her wand a few times and before Snape could do more than growl and glare at her he found himself ensconced in a black armchair with a matching ottoman, his knee bandaged and his legs propped up.

"Now then Severus you stay put, Mr. Malfoy come away from that window and sit down or it will be twenty points from Slytherin. I think it is more than fair to say we've established we cannot leave the room. Merlin knows how long we're going to be trapped in here and we can't have anybody seriously injured," she said sternly conjuring a temping green armchair for Malfoy.

Malfoy sank into the armchair and crossed his arms. Ron suspected that the blonde would have been full on sulking if it weren't unbecoming for a Malfoy to sulk.

Snape fished a small blue phial from his robes and downed it with a grimace.

"What do you think Gred?"

"My money's on pain-reliever Forge,"

"There," Albus interrupted, "Now that we are all comfortable, let us continue with the story,"

"Right, er...where was I,"

"Something peculiar Weasley, honestly," sneered Malfoy.

"I'm glad to see you paying such close attention Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said smoothly.

Malfoy scowled and his cheeks turned a bit pink.

**A cat reading a map.**

Snape raised an eyebrow and the assembled party shot suspicious looks at McGonagall.

**For a second Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen, then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. **

"Or let me think...magic perhaps? Idiot muggle,"

"That's quite enough Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said sternly.

**Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said **_**Privet Drive**_** – no, **_**looking**_** at the sign; cats couldn't read maps **_**or**_** signs. Mr. Dursley gave a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove towards town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day. **

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

"Oh for the love of Merlin," groaned McGonagall.

"Loathe as I am to admit to my agreement with a Gryffindor, the lack of discretion is appalling," sneered Snape.

"Five points each to Gryffindor and Slytherin for inter-house cooperation!" said Dumbledore delightedly.

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes – the get-ups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdoes standing quite close by. **

"Oi, who're you calling a weirdo!"

"Mr. Weasley,"

"Right, sorry Professor,"

**They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt – these people were obviously collecting for something...yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings car park, his mind back on drills. **

"Dear Merlin, this muggle is thicker than Crabbe," said Malfoy disgustedly.

"The sad thing is-"

"-you're not wrong,"

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window on his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. **_**He**_** didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people in the street did; they pointed and gazed open mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at night time.**

"How on Earth do they get their mail if they've never even seen an owl?" Malfoy snorted derisively, "Idiot muggles,"

"Mr. Malfoy! Ten points from Slytherin!" cried McGonagall outraged.

"They get other muggles to deliver the post, takes a bit longer, and you need to have all the proper stamps and a full address, but it works for the muggles," Ron said with a shrug.

"Do get on with it Weasley, the muggle post system is of no interest to us," Snape said.

**Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free** **morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. **

"Does this muggle have any clue as to how to properly intimidate someone?" demanded Snape pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Severus," Dumbledore warned.

**He was in a very good mood until lunch-time, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to by himself a bun from the baker's opposite. **

**He'd forgotten about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy.**

"Good on 'em," muttered Ron briefly before continuing.

**This lot were whispering excitedly too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. **

"That is because you moronic muggle scum, they're not collecting anything!" snapped Malfoy.

"Er...might want to calm down Malfoy," suggested Fred.

"Foaming at the mouth spoils the whole calm collected Malfoy image," added George.

"Besides, it's no use yelling at a book," Ron said.

Malfoy scowled and glared, but couldn't stop himself from surreptitiously checking for spittle in the corners of his mouth, an action that sent the Weasleys into gales of laughter, and brought a small twitch to the corner of McGonagall's lips even as she scolded them.

**It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

"**The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard-"**

"**-Yes, their son, Harry-"**

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead. **

"If only," chorused the Weasley's and Malfoy.

The silence was deafening.

"Mr. Weasley, if you would continue," suggested Dumbledore gently.

"I agreed with Malfoy," said Ron in a horrified whisper.

"Good grief, Mr. Weasley, the world is not ending," said McGonagall rolling her eyes, "Continue reading or it will be five points from Gryffindor for your foolishness,"

"Er...right,"

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it. **

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone**

"Dare I ask what that is?" asked Malfoy in a put upon tone of voice.

"Muggles use them to talk to each other over a long distance," said George.

"Our Ronniekins had an interesting experience with one," laughed Fred.

Ron's face went as red as his hair.

"That was a long time ago and don't call me Ronniekins!" he snapped.

"Sure thing, Ronniekins," mocked George.

Malfoy laughed even as Ron moved to launch himself bodily at his brothers and was stopped with a quick spell from McGonagall.

"Mr. Weasley, continue!"

Ron glowered, but did as instructed.

**And had almost finished dialling his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his moustache, thinking,**

"I highly doubt that," sneered Snape.

**...no, he was being stupid,**

"Too right," said Ron.

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it he wasn't sure his nephew **_**was **_**called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold. There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley, she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her – if **_**he'd**_** had a sister like that...but all the same, those people in cloaks...**

**He found it harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

"**Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell.**

**It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realised that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passers-by stare: "Don't be sorry my dear sir for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice for You-Know-Who is gone at last! Even muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!"**

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" snapped McGonagall.

"A Hufflepuff no doubt," sneered Snape.

"Severus," Dumbledore scolded gently frowning.

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

"Hopefully to shower," Ron muttered.

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he'd been called a muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination. **

"Boo!"

"Rubbish!"

"Boys!" McGonagall snapped.

"Sorry, professor," chorused the twins unapologetically.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw – and it didn't improve his mood – was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes. **

Again all eyes in the room turned to McGonagall.

"Yes, I confess, it's me," she said throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Knew it!" crowed Ron.

"We all knew it Weasel, now read!"

"Mr. Malfoy, ten points from Slytherin for your insults!" McGonagall snapped.

"**Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly. **

McGonagall shot the book a disgusted look.

"As if that would be sufficient provocation to budge a Gryffindor," said Snape.

"Careful professor -"

"-that was nearly a compliment,"

"We wouldn't want you to strain something,"

"That would be tragic,"

"10 points from Gryffindor for your insolence!" hissed Snape.

"Oi!" protested Fred.

"We're not in school anymore-"

"-You can't take points from us!"

Snape glanced up at Dumbledore.

"I am afraid they are correct Severus," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling.

"Very well, I will simply take points from Weasley for the antics of his entire family," Snape said glaring at the twins.

"Oi, you lot shut it!" Ron said glaring at his brothers, before beginning to read again.

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look. Was this normal cat behaviour? **

"No, but it's normal McGonagall behaviour," snorted Ron shaking his head, "Er...no offense Professor,"

"Continue reading Mr. Weasley," McGonagall instructed rubbing her temples.

**Mr. Dursley wondered, trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learnt a knew word ("Shan't!"). Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news.**

**"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern," **

**The newscaster allowed himself a grin.**

"What do you reckon?" asked Fred.

"Wizard?" shrugged George.

"Or he's got a kid at Hogwarts,"

"Save the speculations for your own time, Messrs. Weasley," McGonagall instructed.

"Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"

**"Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight." **

"Fools!" snapped Snape.

"Buffoons," agreed McGonagall through grit teeth.

"Imbeciles!" shrieked the Weasley twins dramatically.

"Silencio!" growled Malfoy flicking his wand at the twins, who conjured a wordless shield.

"Oi!"

"That wasn't very nice,"

"I'm not nice, now shut up!" snapped Malfoy.

"Ten points from Slytherin Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Weasley, if you would," McGonagall cut in.

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain. Owls flying by daylight. Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place. And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...**

Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously.

**"Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"**

**As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

Snape scowled darkly at this piece of information.

**"No," she said sharply, "Why?" **

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled, "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..." **

"Oi, who're you calling-"

"-funny looking!"

**"So," snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... **_**her**_** crowd," **

"The nerve…"

"Mr. Malfoy, desist!" McGonagall snapped preemptively

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. **

**Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name 'Potter' He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?" **

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"

"Doesn't know his own nephew's name-"

"-the git. No sense of family loyalty,"

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me," **

"Quite," agreed Malfoy.

"Are you agreeing with this moronic excuse for a muggle, Malfoy?" demanded Fred.

"If you are you know, we'll have to punish you for it," added George.

"Enough!" Snape ordered, "Draco, don't agree with muggles, it's beneath you, hellspawn, if you do not shut up I will permanently stick your mouths to the floor,"

"Really Severus, must you do everything in your power to torture me?"

"Yes,"

"Minerva, Severus," warned Dumbledore, "Mr. Weasley do continue,"

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly, "Yes, I quite agree," He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed.**

While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there.

It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.

Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters. If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.

"Well I'm sure that goes double for the Potters," muttered Ron darkly.

The Dursleys got into bed.

"Agh! My brain-"

"-it's melting!"

"Boys!"

**Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on - he yawned and turned over - it couldn't affect them...**

"Jinxed it," sighed Ron

How very wrong he was.

"Told ya,"

Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness.

"Pepper-up potion, Minerva?" drawled Snape arching an eyebrow.

"Not that it is any of your business but no,"

**It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

"Really, Minerva I commend your vigilance but that cannot be healthy," Dumbledore commented.

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots.**

"Yourself, I assume, Albus," said Snape.

"Quite right my dear boy!"

His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.

The Weasley twins broke into cheers that had everyone but the aforementioned Dumbledore glaring at them.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known," He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall,"**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**"How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly,"**

**"You'd be stiff too if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

**"All day. When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here,"**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently, "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news,"**

**She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. **

**"I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense,"**

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. **

"Oh yes I can," growled McGonagall, "We didn't just come through eleven years of war only to bring up a whole mess of complications by revealing our world to the muggles,"

**"We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years," **

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably, "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors," **

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. **

"Who would have thought-"

"-our dear Head of House-"

"-was such a gossip,"

"Don't make me deduct points from your brother," McGonagall warned.

**"A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore,"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore, "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

"Just for the record, this is where it all started," McGonagall announced.

**"A what?" **

**"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of," **

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. **

"A clear oversight on your part Minerva, lemon drops are an indulgence that must be savored as often as possible," Dumbledore said and he proceeded to take out his tin of lemon drops and offer one to each of the occupants of the room.

Only the twins took them.

**"As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone -" **

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name. All this 'You- Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name…"**

Ron took a deep breath.

"**Voldemort," **

All the occupants of the room, save Dumbledore flinched with varying degrees of severity.

**Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. **

**"It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying…"**

Ron paused again steeling himself.

"**Voldemort's name,"  
><strong>

Snape and Malfoy both made derisive noises in the back of their throats even as they flinched. Noises suggesting that they found their old coot of a Headmaster particularly daft.

**"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring, "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of,"**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly, "Voldemort had powers I will never have," **

**"Only because you're too - well - noble to use them," **

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs," **

Everyone except Dumbledore and McGonagall wrinkled their noses in clear disgust.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying. About why he's disappeared. About what finally stopped him," **

"Hardly subtle, Minerva," Snape said arching a brow.

"I'd been waiting for this information all day Severus, and I hardly thought Albus was going to refrain from telling me but he does like to draw things out, so forgive me if I wasn't up to your standard of subterfuge," huffed McGonagall.

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever 'everyone' was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

**"What they're saying," she pressed on, "Is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are - are - that they're – dead,"**

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**"Lily and James... I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe it...Oh, Albus..."**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. **

**"I know... I know..." he said heavily.**

Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on.

**"That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. But - he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone,"**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**"It's - it's true," faltered Professor McGonagall, "After all he's done... all the people he's killed... he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding... of all the things to stop him... but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**"We can only guess," said Dumbledore, "We may never know,"**

"Ten sickles says Dumbledore knows," Fred said nudging Ron.

"I'm not taking that bet, do I look like an idiot to you?"

"Yes," answered Malfoy.

"No one asked you," snapped Ron glaring.

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. **

"Lace, Minerva?"

McGonagall glared at Snape, daring him to comment further.

**Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way," **

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall, "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?" **

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now,"**

"No offense Headmaster, but you're barking to think Harry deserved to be stuck with those…_people_," said Ron glancing up from the book.

"None taken Mr. Weasley, but you must understand, I had my reasons,"

"Hn," snorted Ron.

**"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here," cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four, "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!" **

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly, "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter." **

"A letter!" growled the Weasleys.

"Now you've done it Headmaster, you've invoked the wrath of your precious redheaded lions," sneered Snape.

"Severus," Dumbledore warned.

"Five points to Gryffindor for intra-house solidarity," McGonagall said.

**"A letter," repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall, "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter. These people will never understand him! He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future - there will be books written about Harry - every child in our world will know his name!" **

**"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses, "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?" **

"Your precautionary measures have been useless Albus, the boy is just as arrogant as his father, strutting about poking his nose into things that are none of his affair, as if the rules and common courtesy don't apply to him," sneered Snape his fingers twitching for his wand.

The Weasleys looked as if they were going to say something at this point but didn't dare, instead they settled for glaring.

"I remain convinced, Severus, that if you and Harry could put aside your differences and your prejudices then you both would get along splendidly,"

"Doubtful," sneered Snape.

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" **

**She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

"Hagrid's bringing him,"

"Merlin, it's a wonder Potter survived past that night!" Malfoy declared.

"Oi, shut your mouth ferret-face!"

"Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Ten points from Slytherin!"

"That's quite enough!" Dumbledore interjected.

Ron opened his mouth as if to make a further protest but decided against it under the weight of the Headmaster's gaze.

**"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?" **

"**I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.  
><strong>

Snape and Malfoy both snorted.

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?" **

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

**"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved, "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke, "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir,"**

"Black?" said Malfoy surprised, "Isn't he a Death Eater?"

Dumbledore held up a hand to forestall any angry protests or long winded explanations.

"Suffice to say, Mr. Malfoy, that if these books continue arriving that you will find out the truth of the matter in due time,"

**"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol,"**

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

"Aw, ickle Harrykins is so cute!" cooed the twins in mocking chorus.

"Stow it, you lot!" Ron demanded.

**"Is that where -" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore, "He'll have that scar forever,"**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?" **

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with," Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I - could I say good-bye to him, sir." asked Hagrid.**

**He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. **

"Ugh!" Malfoy said pulling a face.

**Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it, "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -" **

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. **

**He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations,"**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir," **

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her.**

**Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured.**

**He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

"You just left him there? A one year old, on the front porch, at night, in November!" said Ron, sounding dangerously similar to Molly Weasley for a minute.

"In hindsight it was perhaps, careless of us," Dumbledore admitted.

Malfoy snorted, shaking his head eloquently.

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley... He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the Boy-Who-Lived!"**

"I think I may vomit," sneered Malfoy.

"No one asked you," said Ron hostilely.

"Is that the end of the chapter Mr. Weasley?" asked Dumbledore before the argument could escalate.

"Yeah, who's reading next?" Ron demanded.

"I will," chorused Fred and George.

"No, I will," they said, again in chorus.

Glaring at each other they then proceeded to play a few silent rounds of rock, paper, scissors.

"What are they doing?" drawled Snape.

"Some way of deciding things Hermione taught them, it's a muggle thing," shrugged Ron

"I win!" declared George triumphantly snatching up the book from Ron's lap.

"Then by all means Mr. Weasley, begin,"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>And there you have it. I'm going to do this thing so that each chapter of the Book corresponds with a chapter in the Readingverse but their might be extra chapters where no reading gets done as I magically pull a plot out of nowhere. I can do that, I'm an author! That being said suggestions are, of course, always welcome.

I'm counting on you guys to let me know when the characters are getting to OOC or the ratio of Readingverse to Book material is too skewed.

Drop me a review and let me know what you think. Criticism more than welcome!

Also, exciting milestone, this is the longest chapter I have ever posted including one-shots! Mood deflator, about half of it doesn't come from my brain...alright seriously going now...

Review!


	3. Chapter 3: Sympathy for the Saviour

**The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone**

**Chapter Three: Sympathy for the Saviour**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Any bolded text is a direct transcript from the book Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, thus, I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who review, alerted and favorited!

* * *

><p>"Right then Forge, best get on with it," said Fred.<p>

"Indeed, Headmaster's orders and all that," agreed George.

"Get a move on!" growled Malfoy impatiently.

The twins exchanged mockingly sympathetic looks.

"Not to worry Malfoy-"

"-they've got procedures to remove it now,"

"Remove what?" Malfoy demanded annoyed.

"The stick from your ass," said Fred.

"And the knots from your panties," added George.

"Five points from Gryffindor, and it will be another ten if you don't start reading," said Snape silkily.

Ron, who was doubled over in laughter, started making waving motions at his brothers with his hand. The twins rolled their eyes and George began to read.

"**Chapter Two: The Vanishing Glass,"** George read.

"Riveting," muttered Snape disgustedly.

"Oh hush, Severus," snipped McGonagall.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. **

"Moronic, perhaps, but hardly fateful,"

"Severus are you going to start nitpicking about the quality of the literature because if you are I will be forced to transfigure your vocal cords!"

"Hn,"

**Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed.**

Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets –

At this the Weasley's all snorted with laughter, and McGonagall was hard pressed to keep the corners of her lips from twitching upwards.

**But Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother.**

"Oi, Ronniekins, what's a computer game?"

"No clue, Hermione's never mentioned one, and neither has Harry, and don't call me Ronniekins!"

"Fat lot of good you are,"

The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.

Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.

"Poor Harry, waking up to that every day," said Ron shaking his head.

**"Up! Get up! Now!"**

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

**"Up!" she screeched.**

"Such a pleasant woman, and to think I felt sorry for her being cursed with such a son," said McGonagall sarcastically.

**Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

"How is it that Potter can remember an event from when he was only a year old, one he was mostly asleep for, and yet he cannot recall the simplest of Potions?" demanded Snape.

"Perhaps he blocks out the memories of your classes-"

"-dear Professor, because they're too traumatizing for him to recall,"

"Boys," McGonagall warned.

His aunt was back outside the door.

"Are you up yet?" she demanded.

"Nearly," said Harry.

"Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."

**Harry groaned.**

**"What did you say." his aunt snapped through the door.**

**"Nothing, nothing..."**

**Dudley's birthday - how could he have forgotten?**

"See Professor, it's not just you, Harry blocks out all traumatizing information," Fred said grinning wickedly.

He was forced to dodge a nasty looking hex, but felt it was worth it.

"Severus! You can't curse guests! Not in my office!" McGonagall said sounding scandalized.

"If you would please continue Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore insisted.

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on. **

Ron went slightly green and Malfoy wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Come on, St. Potter it's called hygiene!"

**Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.**

"WHAT!" was the resounding chorus that followed this statement, even from Snape and Malfoy.

"You don't think…" said Fred.

"There was a bed in there," George shrugged.

"Do you think we can have that thing ready by the start of summer hols?"

"For them, oh, I think dear twin we can manage,"

If anyone had been paying true attention to this exchange between the twins and seen their maliciously wicked grins they would have been very afraid, as it was they had rounded on Dumbledore for an explanation.

"Albus, you had to have known about this! I refuse to believe you were not keeping tabs on the boy!" McGonagall shrieked.

"Yes, I knew,"

"And you bloody well left him there! How could you? We would have taken him in!" Ron bellowed.

The windows and books began to rattle in what promised to be an impressive display of destruction and Ron and McGonagall seemed to swell to twice their original size.

"I would have taken him!" growled McGonagall.

"Not even, bloody Potter deserves that," Malfoy added, trying and failing not to look angry.

"For his own good, that isn't for his own good that's…that's abuse, that is!"

The inkbottle on McGonagall's desk exploded.

"Ease up there, Ronniekins," George said laying a restraining hand on his brother's shoulder as his twin cleaned up the mess with a few deft flicks of his wand.

Ron took several deep breaths and glared darkly at the Headmaster.

"Mr. Potter and I have discussed the matter, and rest assured that he knows my reasons," Dumbledore said calmly if sadly.

"Headmaster, loathe as I am to find myself, advocating Potter," Snape sneered, "He was a child, your reasons, whatever they are, should come second place to the welfare of the child,"

"Twenty points to Slytherin," agreed McGonagall positively bristling.

"Please, Mr. Weasley, continue reading," Dumbledore said.

George glared at him but did as he asked.

When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.

"What's a television?" sighed Malfoy annoyed by all the muggle references.

"Some muggle thing they need to make their pictures move," shrugged Ron, who still looked angry.

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise - unless of course it involved punching somebody. Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, **

This elicited what could only be termed a growl from the assembled Weasley's and McGonagall.

**but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.**

"Good on you, mate!" said Ron.

Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was.

"Hn,"

"What is it now Malfoy?" Ron demanded.

"I had wondered why a Potter went around dressed in rags, I always assumed it was because he didn't want to embarrass you with a show of wealth," sneered Malfoy.

Ron flushed red to the roots of his flaming hair and Fred quickly reached out and stopped him from launching himself at the Slytherin.

"Ten points from Slytherin for your inflammatory comments Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall snapped.

**Harry had a thin face, knobby knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning. **

"He likes the bloody thing?" sneered Malfoy disgustedly.

"Not anymore," said the Weasleys darkly.

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

**"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.**

"A car crash! You mean they didn't even…" McGonagall seemed too overwrought by fury to continue.

**"And don't ask questions!" **

**Don't ask questions - that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.**

**"Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

"Wouldn't work anyway," grumbled Ron.

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way - all over the place.**

At this bit of information Snape sneered nastily, but the assembled ignored him in favor of continuing the story.

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

"Good one, Harry!" Fred cheered as the assembled Weasleys broke out in grins.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents.**

**His face fell.**

**"Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father, "That's two less than last year,"**

**"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mommy and Daddy,"**

"Is this woman incapable of no speech besides, shrill annoying shrieking and disgusting baby talk!" McGonagall demanded of no one in particular.

**"All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face.**

Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.

"Seriously, this muggle has got to be the most spoilt child on the planet," sneered Malfoy.

"And to think up until now you thought the title was yours," said Fred with mocking sympathy.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?''**

"Enabler!" snapped McGonagall.

Snape's lip curled upward in clear disgust.

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work.**

**Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty ... thirty..." **

**"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

"Stupid muggle can't even count, and he's eleven!" sneered Malfoy.

"Actually-"

"-Loath as we are to admit it-"

"-That's addition-"

"-Not counting," The Weasley Twins said.

**"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel, "All right then," **

**Uncle Vernon chuckled. **

**"Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair**

"Nauseating, truly nauseating," commented Snape.

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"Don't even ask Malfoy, it's a bunch of muggle stuff, that's all you need to know," said Ron before Malfoy could interrupt.

"Bad news, Vernon," she said, "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him," she jerked her head in Harry's direction.

All those who'd visited Grimmauld Place that summer shot Dumbledore pointed looks. Leaving Malfoy confused.

"Albus I could just…" McGonagall started her fists clenching as she stopped herself from launching into an angry tirade.

The bookcases began to shake again and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Continue, hellspawn," Snape ordered.

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

**"Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this.**

**Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

**"We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

**"Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy,"**

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there - or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug. **

**"What about what's-her-name, your friend – Yvonne?" **

**"On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

**"You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

**"And come back and find the house in ruins," she snarled.**

**"I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

"Not purposefully anyway," Ron said snorting and shaking his head.

**"I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "...and leave him in the car..."**

**"That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone..." **

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying - it had been years since he'd really cried - but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

"Disgusting!" sneered Malfoy.

"Like you can talk Malfoy," Ron snorted.

"Just wait-"

"-Until my father hears about this!" mimicked Fred and George mockingly.

Malfoy scowled.

"I do not…"

"Now is not the time, nor is it the place, Mr. Weasley, continue," McGonagall ordered apparently having been successful in composing herself and reining in her magic.

**"Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

"Really just how thick can this woman get!"

"She's related to Potter," sneered Snape as if that should explain everything.

"Severus!"

"Enough of that," Dumbledore said sternly.

He probably regretted calling attention back to himself as he found himself pinned by angry glares once again but his order had the effect of breaking up what promised to be a knock down drag out between his two most reserved staff members.

**"I... don't... want... him... t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp- spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

**Just then, the doorbell rang - "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically - and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

**"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy - any funny business, anything at all - and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

**"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "Honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

"And they shouldn't, mate," snorted Ron.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

"That's because you did make them happen Potter," sneered Snape.

"Yeah but he doesn't know that, not yet anyway," shrugged Ron.

"_That woman_ knows about accidental magic, she would have had first-hand experience with a witch like Lily Evans as her sister," Snape growled.

"Why Severus, I didn't know you cared," said McGonagall dryly.

Snape sneered, but said nothing more on the subject.

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left 'To hide that horrible scar!'**

Everyone in the room pulled a sympathetic grimace, even Snape and Malfoy.

**Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.**

**Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.**

"Interesting," said Dumbledore eyes twinkling.

"You don't suppose…" McGonagall said skeptically.

"It is entirely possible, I will contact young Nymphadora about the possibility once we are released,"

"Bloody brilliant!" Ron grinned.

"Wicked!" agreed the twins.

"What in the name of Merlin are you talking about!" demanded Malfoy annoyed.

Snape gave a put upon sigh.

"You are better off not knowing,"

**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

"But what about school? Wouldn't his teachers notice he was missing?" asked Ron.

"If a parent or guardian feels it is necessary to keep the child out of school as long as the grades are achieved, the teachers can't do anything," McGonagall explained.

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls) –**

"Bloody hell!" said Ron wrinkling his nose.

"Muggles, no taste whatsoever," sneered Malfoy.

**The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

Snape's eyes narrowed at this.

On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney.

"Sweet Merlin! Did he apparate?" demanded Ron.

"Flew, more likely," Fred corrected shaking his head in admiration.

"So powerful, even as a child," McGonagall said shaking her head, "You are very lucky he didn't do serious damage to his relatives and the children at school considering his power level," she said this time addressing the Headmaster, who had apparently been having similar thoughts if the perturbed look on his face was anything to go by.

**The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid- jump.**

"Pft, he doesn't actually believe that pathetic excuse," sneered Malfoy.

"Potter's oblivious idiocy knows very few limits," Snape said by way of response.

But today, nothing was going to go wrong.

The Weasley's groaned.

"Jinxed it now, mate," Ron said shaking his head.

**It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room. While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. **

"Hey Gred!"

"Yes Forge?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking that our dear Harrykins isn't well liked then I believe I am,"

"Hellspawn!" demanded Snape.

**This morning, it was motorcycles.**

**"... roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

**"I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly.**

"No discretion, he simply blurts out whatever comes into his mind without thought," sneered Snape.

**"It was flying." **

"Oh no, come on Harry," groaned Ron exasperatedly.

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" **

The whole room jumped as George bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"Except when they do," added Fred in a much more modulated voice.

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

**"I know they don't," said Harry, "It was only a dream,"**

"Such insolence," hissed Snape.

"Come now Severus, you can't honestly say that that wouldn't have been your exact response at his age," McGonagall pointed out.

Snape said nothing, merely crossed his arms across his chest and scowled darkly.

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon - they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"Dangerous ideas?" queried Malfoy with a raised eyebrow.

His malicious grin gave everyone in the room a fairly good idea of what kinds of dangerous ideas he hoped would take root in Harry's head.

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families.**

"I've never understood the delight people get from goggling at caged animals," Snape said shaking his head.

McGonagall eyed him suspiciously as George continued reading.

**The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop. It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

The Weasleys all grinned at this unflattering comparison.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him. They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

"I don't believe this!" sneered Malfoy, "Even Potter deserves better than this! Reduced to enjoying dessert contaminated with filthy muggle spittle…"

"Be that as it may Mr. Malfoy now is not the time for your dramatics," Snape interrupted before Malfoy could dig himself into a hole and lose Slytherin more points.

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

"He thinks that is good," said Ron shaking his head sadly.

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. **

"How did we get from the zoo to the Slytherin Dorms?" asked Ron snidely.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek!" Snape snapped.

Ron glared but subsided.

**It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can - but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

**"Make it move," he whined at his father.**

**Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

**"Do it again," Dudley ordered.**

**Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

**"This is boring," Dudley moaned.**

**He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself - no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

"Bloody hell, mate, you're comparing yourself to an animal in captivity don't you see anything odd about that!"

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

"Wicked!" chorused the twins.

"Snakes don't have eyelids!" Snape said looking affronted.

"Must be a Parselmouth thing," Ron said

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly: "I get that all the time,"**

"Oh! This must be it!" Ron exclaimed gleefully.

"What?" asked Fred.

"Back in second year when Harry was outed as a Parselmouth, he told me and Hermione that he'd set a python on his cousin at the zoo once," Ron explained.

"You mean he didn't know! He's chatting up this snake and he doesn't even suspect anything odd!" Malfoy exclaimed.

"Harry's weird, he knows the minute you're up to something, and he can spot a plot by You-Know-Who a mile away, but then he's completely oblivious to everything else," Ron said shaking his head.

**"I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying,"**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

**"Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

_**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**_

**"Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: _This specimen was bred in the zoo. _**

**"Oh, I see - so you've never been to Brazil," **

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump.**

**"DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

"Oh no," Ron groaned, "You sodding twat, you couldn't have been like most Muggles and ignore it,"

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

**"Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs.**

**Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened - one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come... Thanksss, amigo!"**

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

**"But the glass," he kept saying, "Where did the glass go?"**

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. **

"Bloody hell those bloody drama queens are worse than you Malfoy!" Ron declared shaking his head.

"Do not compare me to Muggles!" Malfoy snapped shuddering dramatically.

**But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?" **

"Shut up, git!" chorused the twins.

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. **

**He managed to say, "Go - cupboard - stay - no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

"No meals!" cried the Weasleys outraged.

"This explains why Harry always looks like he's back in first year at the end of Summer Hols," George said disgustedly.

At this McGonagall was apparently to overwrought to contain herself because she made a muffled little gasping noise through the hand she'd clapped pre-emptively over her mouth and burst into hysterical tears.

The other occupants of the room, being males, shrank back from the tears. Even the great and powerful Headmaster of Hogwarts. Finally Ron tentatively reached out and wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders patting her on the back gently and murmuring a few awkward there, there's. McGonagall proceeded to lean into Ron burying her face in his sweater and sobbing.

"S'alright, Hermione does this pretty much every time Harry gets hurt, she'll be alright in a minute," Ron said awkwardly trying to ignore the incredulous stares of the assembled.

True to Ron's prediction McGonagall's sobs tapered off and she sat up, accepting a handkerchief from Ron gratefully and dabbing at her eyes.

"Alright there Professor?" asked Ron.

"Yes, thank you Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said with a small smile.

With the transfiguration mistress composed if a bit red-eyed George started reading once more.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead.**

"He remembers," McGonagall whispered horrified.

The assembled had gone a uniform shade of white. Unable to fathom remembering such a horrible thing as being struck with the Killing Curse.

**This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family.**

At this pronouncement Dumbledore seemed to wilt in his squashy purple armchair.

**Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

"Vultures, didn't even leave him alone when he didn't know who the bloody hell he was!" growled Ron protectively.

"It's good to know some of the old group were keeping an eye out," McGonagall said with a defeated sigh.

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

It was decided that they would take a short break from reading and have a bit of tea. While the Gryffindor component of the group scrounged up a decent tea service and array of snacks Dumbledore was watching Snape.

Snape himself was having a bit of an identity crisis. For five years now he'd hated Harry Potter because he looked like James Potter and acted like James Potter and generally made Snape uncomfortable simply by being present. To find out that Potter had endured a similar childhood to Snape's own when until now Snape had assumed the brat was spoilt rotten by his family, and that he broke the rules simply because his father had broken them. To learn that he himself had constructed this arrogance for his own justifications was disturbing.

"Tea, Severus?" McGonagall offered.

"Thank you," Snape said with a nod accepting the warm porcelain.

He was resolved to re-evaluate his opinion of Potter, after all he didn't _have_ to loathe the boy, he could merely dislike him, he was after all a Gryffindor and a terrible Potion's student and his godson's rival.

Thus comforted he sipped his tea and rolled his eyes at the melodramatic transfer of the book from the hands of one of the hellspawn to the other.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> There you go, hope you guys enjoyed! Next Chapter Hermione gets to join the party! Let me know what you guys think.

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4: Join the Book Club

**The Reading**

**Chapter Four: Join the Book Club**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, bolded text transcripted yadda yadda yadda...

**Author's Note:** Hey there and welcome to another chapter of The Reading! First thing's first, thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favorited, you guys rock! Now on to the important bits.

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><p>"Ready Forge?"<p>

"Ready Gred,"

"Boys, please!"

The by now familiar antics of the Weasley Twins and the exasperated Professor McGonagall were interrupted by a brisk rapping on the door.

"Professor McGonagall?" said Hermione Granger as she slipped into the office and shut the door behind her.

"Miss. Granger," greeted McGonagall with a nod.

"Hey Mione," said Ron with a wave.

"There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you! What on Earth are you all doing in here?"

"We're starting a book club Granger, what does it look like?" sneered Malfoy waving his hand in Fred's general direction.

"Professor?" asked Hermione directing her query to McGonagall.

"It would seem Miss. Granger that someone went through a great deal of trouble to ensure we read this particular book, we're locked in my office until such a time as we finish it," McGonagall explained concisely.

"That's a bit odd," Hermione said enlarging Ron's chair so that it was more of a couch and sitting next to him.

"More than a bit," snorted Ron, "We've been hearing all about Harry's time with the Muggles," he said darkly.

"How bad is it?" asked Hermione anxiously.

"Worse than we thought,"

"Oh no," Hermione gasped chewing on her lip.

"We're on Chapter Three, now, Fred's reading," George informed her.

"Yes, and you best get on with it Mr. Weasley if we are to make it out of here by dinner time," Dumbledore suggested.

"**Chapter Three: Letters From No One,**"

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment.**

"WHAT!" shouted Hermione.

"Miss. Granger!" McGonagall protested.

"I'm sorry Professor but…Ron…what…"

"Oh yeah, remember that time in second year when Harry told us he set a snake on his cousin?"

"Yes…"

"Yeah well we just finished reading all about it,"

**By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, **

"Cupboard?" Hermione mouthed.

Ron waved her off looking grim.

**the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.**

"How awful!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Harry's cousin's a right git," Ron explained.

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.**

"How did the imbecile manage that?" sneered Snape.

"And people dare insinuate muggles are intelligent," snorted Malfoy derisively.

"What was that, Malfoy?" asked Hermione in a deceptively mild tone.

"You heard me, Granger,"

"Mr. Malfoy 45 points from Slytherin and I don't want to hear another word about it!" McGonagall snapped.

"Show some self-control, Draco," Snape said silkily.

**The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.**

"Does that mean what I think it means?" demanded Hermione.

"If you think it means-"

"-That they chase Harry around-"

"-Intending to beat on him if they manage to catch him,"

"Yes it does," said the Twins.

"Those awful people! Cupboards and now beatings, not to mention Harry always comes back from the hols ten pounds lighter! I never understood why he was placed with them in the first place, those…those…_people_, and I am loathe to apply the term to this particular family, clearly don't want Harry! Why can't he go somewhere else, anywhere else?"

The assembled glared at Dumbledore and Hermione had the distinct feeling she was missing something.

"Mr. Weasley," prompted the Headmaster, gently.

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny.**

"Why?" asked George.

"Because, brother-mine, he has no sense of humor," Fred replied.

**"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

**"No, thanks," said Harry, "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick,"**

This sent the Weasleys into gales of howling laughter, Hermione tried to look disapproving and failed because of her madly twitching lips, Malfoy held in his amusement and managed to look constipated. A fact that sent the Weasleys into further hysterics. It was a good five minutes before Fred was able to get back to the story.

**Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.**

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, mate," chuckled Ron.

One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's.

"Mrs. Figg," muttered Hermione, "That would be…"

"Yeah," Ron confirmed.

"But…Professor Dumbledore…" Hermione looked up at Dumbledore as if she'd just been told that Santa Claus didn't exist, "You wouldn't…" she said weakly.

Professor McGonagall looked sympathetic and shot Dumbledore another venomous look.

"You couldn't…not to Harry…" she muttered.

"He could and he did," Snape snapped, "Cease your blithering Granger,"

"If you would continue reading, Mr. Weasley," McGonagall said after a minute of tense silence.

**Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.**

Malfoy pulled a face.

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.**

"This from the Muggles who thing we dress funny?" Ron said shaking his head in disgust.

Hermione giggled a bit into her hand.

"Oh that is awful, I almost feel sorry for the boys,"

**They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.**

McGonagall and Hermione sputtered in horror.

"How in the name of Merlin is that training for later in life?" Ron demanded of no one in particular.

"It's training to be Slytherin," said Fred wickedly.

"Yeah, hit your friends and enemies alike, just don't get caught," agreed George.

"You say it like it's a bad thing," said Malfoy unconcernedly examining his nails.

The young Gryffindors in the room snorted and rolled their eyes and Fred continued reading.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life.**

"Unsurprising," said Snape with an expression usually reserved for cockroaches and other vermin.

**Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. **

"Someone please, kill me now," groaned Ron dramatically.

**Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.**

This wrung a smile or chuckle out of the assembled, even Snape's lips twitched into a brief smirk.

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.**

"No wonder they make-"

"-ickle Harrykins cook if-"

"That's what his Aunt manages for breakfast,"

"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia.

**Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.**

**"Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet,"**

The Twins and Ron snorted in laughter while Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, well, St. Potter knows how to be sarcastic," commented Malfoy.

"Are you kidding me?" said Ron, wide-eyed.

"You don't mean…seriously?" Hermione said incredulously.

"Now that I think about it I don't think…"

"No, I can't remember a single occasion either," Hermione agreed.

"Will one of you get to the point?" snapped Malfoy.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a knowing look. Ron shrugged.

"We just can't believe Harry's never once sharpened his tongue on your ego," Hermione explained

"To your face anyway," Ron added.

**"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dying some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished." Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High - like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.**

"Why doesn't this woman just buy him some cheap grey clothes rather than going through all the work and bother of dying things," Malfoy asked.

"I suspect it's because she doesn't want Harry to look good or waste money on him," Hermione said darkly.

Malfoy snorted.

"It would take more than a new pair of pants to make Potter look good," Malfoy sneered.

The Weasley Twins leaned out of their chairs to better pin the blond aristocrat with disbelieving stares.

"Harry may be a short, skinny, bespectacled git-"

"-but underneath the circus tents he wears he's quite fit,"

"How would you know?" Ron demanded.

The Twins turned their derisive expressions on their youngest brother.

"Two words," said George.

"Quidditch showers," said Fred.

"Ugh, I can't know that!" Ron exclaimed.

"I could stand to hear a little more,"

"Hermione!"

Ron looked distinctly disgruntled.

"Oh relax Ronald, I'm only teasing," Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"As…riveting as the current topic of discussion is, can we please return to the matter at hand," said Snape mildly, his lip curling in clear distaste.

Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.

"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.

"Make Harry get it."

**"Get the mail, Harry." **

**"Make Dudley get it." **

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley." **

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and - a letter for Harry.**

"WOO! HOGWARTS!" cheered the Weasley Twins.

"Settle down, the pair of you!" McGonagall scolded halfheartedly.

Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would?

"Ginny," chorused the Weasleys.

"She must have sent-"

"-a hundred letters,"

"Glad he never got them though, that would just be awkward," Ron said shaking his head.

"I took the liberty of setting up a ward against owl mail, for the first ten years, after which I made it semi-permeable to owls from Hogwarts, Gringotts, the Ministry and any personal owl accompanied by Harry's familiar," Dumbledore confessed.

"Well now Albus, Harry might actually thank you for that bit of interference," said McGonagall coldly.

The room fell into tense silence until Fred began to read again.

**He had no friends, no other relatives - he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake: **

_**Mr. H. Potter**_

_**The Cupboard Under the Stairs **_

_**4 Privet Drive **_

_**Little Whinging, Surrey **_

Professor McGonagall went very pale.

"That damn enchanted quill," she muttered to herself.

"I have told you time and time again that there should be some sort of filter for suspicious addresses," Snape said.

"I agree, this whole debacle could have been avoided…we'll talk to Pomona and Filius and bring it up at the next staff meeting," McGonagall said shaking her head.

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.**

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H.**

**"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs." **

**He chuckled at his own joke.**

"Not funny," said Fred.

"Also bad form for laughing at his own jokes," added George.

"That aren't even funny," Fred repeated shaking his head.

Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter.

"Potter, you idiot!" snapped Malfoy dropping his head in his hands.

"Oh, Harry," sighed Hermione.

**He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.**

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

**"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk-"**

**"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!" **

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

**"That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.**

**"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it.**

**His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.**

"Did Harry curse him or something?" asked Ron looking confused.

**"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

Snape snorted.

"Such unnecessary melodrama, they couldn't have been surprised to find out Potter was a wizard, not with the amount of accidental magic the boy used as a child,"

**"Vernon! Oh my goodness - Vernon!" They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

"That…that…brat!" Hermione burst out.

"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.

"**I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "As it's mine," **

**"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope. **

**Harry didn't move.**

**"I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

Hermione scowled at the book, "Really Harry, your lack of manners is appalling!"

"He was ten Mione and raised by those gits, it's a lucky break he learned any manners at all!" Ron defended.

"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.

"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them.

**Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole.**

"Come on, mate!" cheered Ron.

"Honestly Ronald, Dudley is at least four times Harry's size!"

**Dudley won, **

"Rats!"

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's disappointed expression.

**So Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.**

**"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address - how could they possibly know where he sleeps. You don't think they're watching the house?"**

**"Watching - spying - might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

"You greatly over-estimate your importance," Snape commented caustically.

**"But what should we do, Vernon. Should we write back? Tell them we don't want -"**

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

**"No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer... Yes, that's best... we won't do anything..."**

"That's not going to work!" chorused the Weasley Twins in a fair imitation of Hermione, mocking smirks giving their features a faintly maniacal cast.

**"But -"**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense!" **

"Stamp it out," said Hermione low and soft, "You can't _stamp out_ magic!"

A fierce wind kicked up.

Snape frowned looking Dumbledore straight in the eye. Did the old man realize how lucky he was? Snape thought not. The Headmaster had no idea what children were capable of when they were threatened, he chose not to see, and the children were very good at hiding their crimes. Snape remembered another little boy whose muggle step-father tried to stamp out his magic, the man had suffered night terrors so severe that he fell into a coma and died. The child in question, when he was eventually found locked in the cellar, had been so damaged by that point that he'd been taken to a permanent ward in St. Mungo's. Very few people had ever deduced that the child had given the nightmares to the step-father, those that had made the deduction had never reported it.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.**

"Does that sound really wrong to anyone else?" asked George.

**"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

**"No one, it was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly, "I have burned it."**

Malfoy snorted.

"Not even Potter is that thick,"

**"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "It had my cupboard on it!" **

**"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. **

Ron shuddered in disgust, going a bit green around the gills.

**He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful.**

**"Er - yes, Harry - about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking... you're really getting a bit big for it... we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom,"**

"Second bedroom…" said McGonagall faintly.

Hermione stood up and began gesticulating wildly.

"THEY BLOODY WELL HAVE A SECOND BEDROOM FOR…FOR…"

"Calm down, Mione," Ron said soothingly taking the bushy haired girl, who was at this point so overwrought she couldn't form words and settling her back on the loveseat.

**"Why?" said Harry.**

**"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle, "Take this stuff upstairs, now!"**

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: **

A strange choking noise made its way past the horror obstructing Hermione's vocal cords but it was drowned out by Ron's shout of, "_FOUR!"_

"_Silencio_," sneered Malfoy waving his wand at Ron who was not quick enough with a counter, "I think it is clear at this point that Potter is a slave in his own home, accept it and let's get past the dramatics, shall we?"

"Well put Mr. Malfoy, twenty points to Slytherin," agreed Snape laconically.

McGonagall removed the silencing charm from Ron and with a pointed thin-lipped look at Malfoy gestured for Fred to continue reading.

**One for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom. It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. **

Ron's face went red and Hermione's knuckles went white as her fist clenched in her lap, but they remained quiet.

**He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. **

"Then why hasn't it been repaired or disposed of?" Malfoy commented.

"Looks like ickle Duddykins is a packrat, that must drive his neat freak mother up the walls," grinned Hermione evily.

"What's the matter with you Granger?" the blond asked giving her an odd slightly fearful look.

"This would either be the scary part of being so brilliant, or Harry's and my bad influence," Ron said examining Hermione's expression critically.

"Moving on," said Fred with an eye roll.

**The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.**

Hermione sniffed, disapproval radiating from every pore.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother.**

"**I don't want him in there... I need that room...make him get out..." **

"If they let his screaming and crying convince them to put Harry back in that cupboard I swear!" growled Hermione.

"They didn't," Ron said.

"How do you know? It's not like Harry would ever have come rightout and told us,"

"Because Mione, me and the Twins broke him out of that bedroom before second year, remember?"

"Oh...yes, right of course, sorry, carry on Fred,"

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.**

"Too right, mate, that letter means freedom for you,"

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.**

"Good Lord!" exclaimed McGonagall.

"That's terrible, my mother would skin me alive if I did that!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Mum, would kill us-"

"-Bring us back,"

"And kill us another couple billion times just to make sure it sunk in," Ron moaned.

"My father would _crucio_ me into the next century," Malfoy said shaking his head.

The room went silent.

"What?" demanded the Malfoy heir, "You don't seriously think a Malfoy would tolerate that behavior, even from his own son?"

The room was very quiet until Fred continued reading.

**Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall.**

**Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive -'" **

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind.**

Hermione giggled.

"What?" asked Ron.

"I'm sorry, but remember what happens this Halloween…"

"Oh, yeah, I was wondering how he managed that thing with the troll, now I see, he's had practice," snorted Ron.

"You two, lay off the inside jokes," said Fred.

"Yeah, it's no fun unless everyone gets them," George agreed.

**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.**

**"Go to your cupboard - I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry.**

**"Dudley - go - just go,"**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again. And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.**

"Oh no…" groaned Ron.

"What! A plan is a good thing Ronald, it's good to see that at least once in his life Harry didn't run off half-cocked and…" Hermione seemed to realize what she'd been about to insinuate and her mouth snapped abruptly shut.

Ron however remained oblivious.

"Yeah well you weren't there for some of his other plans! I've got three words for you and they are Follow the Spiders!"

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.**

"Oh, that's not really a bad plan actually,"

"Except that it's so simple the Muggle could have thought of it," sneered Malfoy.

**His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door - Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat - something alive! Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face. Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.**

**I want -" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

**"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them they'll just give up."**

"Not for St. Potter they won't,"

"That isn't true at all Mr. Malfoy, if no response is received from the child in question or their legal guardian, we send more letters, even the most stubborn of muggles are forced to respond in some way when there are thirty letters all saying the same thing at six o'clock on Sunday morning, and besides that we always send a representative to muggle homes before the final enrollment days," McGonagall explained in a lecturing voice.

**"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon." **

"And that woman, damn well knows it!" snarled McGonagall jabbing a finger at the book accusingly, "She wrote to us herself and asked if she could come to Hogwarts,"

It was difficult to tell who was more horrified by this information, Malfoy or Hermione.

**"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.**

"Thank Merlin for that!" Ron exclaimed.

"That's odd," said Hermione.

"What is it now, Granger?"

"Well, Mr. Dursley sells drills, unless I'm mistaken,"

"So?"

"So, why wouldn't he just drill some screws into the door rather that struggling with nails and a fruitcake?"

"Cause the git is out of his bloody tree, that's why!" Ron snapped.

"Ease up there Ronnikins," George admonished.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.**

"Fascinating, I had no idea owls were so well trained," Hermione said.

"There were no owls involved Miss. Granger," McGonagall explained, "After the first letter if we have difficulties convincing the muggle parents or guardians we send in the House Elves, who think of it as a kind of sport or game if I understand them correctly,"

"Fascinating," Hermione repeated to herself as Fred continued reading.

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.**

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

"Why on Earth would he bother when he's read the letter and he knows who's sending them?" sighed Hermione exasperatedly

"Because, Miss. Granger, he is an idiot without the brain capacity to form an original thought much less make a logical decision," Snape sneered looking rather like he'd swallowed a bucket of nails.

**"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

**"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "No damn letters today -"**

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty** **letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one.**

"Why not pick one up from the floor?" asked Hermione.

"He's a seeker Mione, he'll get one," Ron said confidently.

**"Out! OUT!" Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

"Unless that happens first," Ron corrected himself with a sigh.

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.**

**"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!" He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue.**

"Alright, while they're busy packing why doesn't Harry sneak into the living room and take one and hide it away until he has a private moment?" suggested Hermione.

"I dunno Mione, maybe he's not as good at sneaking yet, maybe he's too scared of his uncle, the point is it didn't happen," Ron said rolling his eyes at his female best-friend.

**Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway.**

**Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.**

"Finally that little monster gets some discipline," McGonagall said nodding her head once in sharp approval.

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while.**

**"Shake'em off... shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.**

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering...**

"Wondering what?" demanded Malfoy, "You can't just tell us he was wondering something without enlightening us as to what that something might be!"

"It's a book Malfoy," Ron said.

Malfoy continued to glare at the novel but subsided allowing Fred to continue.

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day.**

The assembled wrinkled their noses at the idea of such an unappetizing meal.

**They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter. Only I got about an 'undred**

**of these at the front desk." She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address: Mr. H. Potter Room 17 Railview Hotel Cokeworth Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.**

"Come on, ask what the problem is, call the Aurors, do something!" Ron ordered the book.

"Police,"

"Yeah, please get Harry out of there!"

"No, Ronald, PO-LEECE that's what the muggle version of Aurors are called,"

"Who cares?"

**"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

"There is no way that is legal," Hermione grumbled.

**"Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her.**

**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

"If they can find you in the middle of suburbia where everything looks exactly the same, then they can certainly find you when you're making a cake of yourself in the middle of nowhere," Hermione informed the book.

"Doesn't he kind of remind you of a less awesome version of Mad-Eye?" asked Ron.

"Don't tell Mad-Eye you think so," snorted George.

"Yeah, he'll be over there checking Dursley for potions and Imperius," said Fred.

"Let us get him good and suspicious first and then we'll have someone else mention it, if we're lucky Mad-Eye'll make sure he gets what he deserves,"

"I am going to pretend I didn't hear that," McGonagall said glancing up at the ceiling.

**"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.**

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.**

**"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television."**

**Monday.**

**This reminded Harry of something. If it was Monday - and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television - then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!" shouted the Gryffindor teens by some unspoken consensus.

**Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun - last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Still, you weren't eleven every day.**

"No but you are eleven for 365 days of a year of your life so I don't see what the big fuss is about," grumbled Malfoy.

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling.**

"That can't be good," Ron commented.

**He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

**"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!" A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.**

"That is seriously creepy," said Ron.

"At least now we know why Harry never wants to get to know new people," sighed Hermione.

**"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "So all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.**

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.**

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas.**

"Rations…that man is a tub of lard and his son is so fat they don't make pants that fit him anymore, and he thinks chips and a banana constitutes rations?" George said shaking his head.

**He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.**

**"Could do with some of those letters now, eh." he said cheerfully.**

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.**

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.**

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.**

"Such melodrama," sneered Snape.

**Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that. And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise.**

**Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

"Crumbling into the…" Hermione started cutting herself off with an exasperated sigh.

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds... twenty ... ten...**

**nine - maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him**

"Do it!" chorused the Weasleys.

** - three... two...**

**one...**

**BOOM.**

The whole room jumped and glared at Fred who'd made a noise like a cannon with his wand.

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"Did you have to do that?" grumbled Ron.

"Of course, gotta keep the literary accuracy, there is so much that can be lost in translation after all," Fred said grinning.

"Stow it Weasley," sneered Malfoy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> And there you have it. Hermione joins their little book club. For those of you who might be wondering, yes, Harry will eventually join them as well but probably not for another few chapters. After that I don't think I'll have anyone else join for this particular book.

Also I have all the canon stuff bolded in my word document but when I upload to doc manager something like half of it randomly unbolds and I have to go through and fix it. If anyone knows how to keep this from happening, please let me know!

Last but certainly not least, Please Review and let me know how you're finding it!


	5. Chapter 5: Incredulous and Oblivious

**The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone**

**Chapter Five: Incredulous and Oblivious**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, bolded text was written by JK Rowling and thus is not mine or anyone else's except hers.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted, and/or favourited, good to know I'm doing a half-decent job over here! Without further ado, on to the story!

* * *

><p>"Well, who'd like to read next?" asked George.<p>

"I will," McGonagall said before Hermione could volunteer, "Maybe this way we can avoid the bulk of the interruptions for a chapter or so,"

"Then by all means Minerva, get on with it so that we might escape this room sometime this century," Snape said.

McGonagall glared at Slytherin's Head of House but did as demanded.

"**Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys,"**

**BOOM**

"Boo!"

"Come on Professor!" the Twins protested.

All at once there was a great thunderous noise and everyone jumped because the noise hadn't been emitted from McGonagall's wand or even either of the Twins', but from Snape's.

"Satisfied?" he said arching an eyebrow at the two redheaded pranksters.

Evil grins spread across their identical freckled faces.

"Wicked!" they chorused.

**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. **

**"Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.**

There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands - now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.

**"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you - I'm armed!"**

**There was a pause. Then - SMASH!**

This time McGonagall saved herself the headache of an argument with the Twins by making the sound effect herself and ignored the round of applause and cheering congratulations in favor of continuing.

**The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.**

"Really Hagrid, was that entirely necessary?" McGonagall tsked.

**A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.**

**The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little.**

**He turned to look at them all.**

**"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."**

The assembled Gryffindors chuckled fondly. That was Hagrid for you, strong as an ox but kind natured as anyone you were likely to find and endearingly oblivious to danger most especially when it came in the form of some kind of animal.

**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

**"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.**

**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.**

**"Couldn't have done him much good, fat as he is," Ron commented.**

**"An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

**"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yet dad, but yeh've got yer mum's eyes."**

As always when James Potter was mentioned Snape's teeth clenched and his hand twitched instinctively to his wand. He found himself wishing that the clumsy twit of a Hufflepuff Auror would inform them that Potter did have certain abilities so that he could then force him at wand point to assume a perfectly average unprovoking appearance.

**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"

**"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.**

"Hagrid, that wasn't terribly politic of you," Hermione scolded gently her lips twitching from a stern frown into a fond smile.

"Who wants to be political? These are the people who are hurting Harry!" Ron said.

"Why waste what few manners the oaf has on mere muggles?" drawled Malfoy laconically.

"Twenty points from Slytherin for disrespecting a professor," McGonagall said with a sigh that said she knew that she could empty the Slytherin hourglass and it would have absolutely no effect on Draco Malfoy's opinions on muggles.

**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.**

**"Anyway - Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "A very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here - I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."**

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.**

**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"**

"Maybe Potter has some sort of syndrome," suggested Malfoy with a smirk.

"With the amount of time he spends in the Hospital Wing Madam Pomfrey would have detected such a thing if it were there. Potter is simply, an idiot who can't keep his mouth shut," Snape replied.

The Gryffindors in the room were getting used to this abuse however and let it slide. After all they were going to be stuck in this room for hours yet and there was no sense holding up production with insults and cursing unless the snarky Slytherins got really out of line.

**The giant chuckled.**

**"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.**

**"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together, "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."**

"Hagrid!" said McGonagall scandalized, "Drinking in front of a student!"

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.**

**The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea. Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker Dudley fidgeted a little.**

**Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley,"**

**The giant chuckled darkly.**

**"Yet great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry."**

**He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful,**

"That's saying something," Ron said sharing a knowing glance with Hermione.

Hagrid wasn't known for his culinary expertise.

**But he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant.**

**Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are,"**

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.**

**"Call me Hagrid," he said, "Everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts - yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course,"**

**"Er - no," said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked shocked.**

"Honestly Albus, did you even explain what you wanted him to go get Harry for?" McGonagall demanded of the Headmaster exasperatedly.

She continued reading before he could explain himself shaking her head.

**"Sorry," Harry said quickly.**

**"Sorry!" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows, "It' s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?"**

"As you can see Minerva not even I, for all my resources, knew just what Harry was missing in the care of his relatives. I know I've made grievous errors when it has come to Harry, but knowing all that I do at this moment, I have to say this decision was the lesser of two evils,"

He said it with sincerity and conviction and he looked each of his fellow captives in the eye clearly seeking some kind of truce or understanding. The room was silent for a long minute.

"I think, Headmaster, that that is for Harry to decide," Ron said pointedly, "Best get on, Professor," he added nodding at the book.

McGonagall cleared her throat, properly and without any hem hemming, and continued reading.

**"All what?" asked Harry.**

**"ALL WHAT!" Hagrid thundered, "Now wait jus' one second!"**

**He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut.**

**The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.**

**"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy - **_**this boy**_**! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?"**

**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad. **

**"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff," **

This statement surprised a smile onto most of the faces in the room.

**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world." **

**"What world?" **

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.**

**"DURSLEY!" he boomed.**

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble."**

**Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.**

**"But yeh must know about yer mum and dad," he said, "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."**

**"What? My - my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?"**

**"Yeh don' know... yeh don' know..."**

"This, _this_ is how the hero of the whole bloody Wizarding World finds out he stopped a war? This is how he finds out about magic and his birthright?" said Malfoy incredulously, "It's ludicrous! Our generation grew up hearing about him in bloody bedtime stories and he never even knew he was a wizard until a few weeks before the start of first year! It's…it's…"

"Try to breathe, Malfoy," suggested Hermione wryly.

"Shut it, Granger, my preconceived notions are falling down around my ears," he snapped.

"Would this be a good time to explain biology to you than?" asked Hermione innocently.

"Miss. Granger, let's not provoke Mr. Malfoy as he is clearly distressed," Professor McGonagall said sanctimoniously.

"Damn straight I'm distressed!"

"_Silencio_,"

"Ah, Professor McGonagall-"

"-yet another example of why-"

"-it's good to be a Gryffindor!"

**Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.**

**"Yeh don' know what yeh are," he said finally.**

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.**

**"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"**

"As if you have any authority," bristled Malfoy having successfully removed the Silencing Charm from himself.

**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

**"You never told him. Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him. I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years,"**

**"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

**"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.**

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.**

**"Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid, "Harry - yer a wizard," **

**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.**

"Well that was-"

"-exceedingly anti-climactic,"

**"- a what?" gasped Harry.**

**"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "An' a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter,"**

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. He pulled out the letter and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY **_

_**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)**_

_**Dear Mr. Potter,**_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.**_

**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.**

**Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress**

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. **

**After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"**

"Seriously mate? You get all that dumped on you all at one and you focus on the single least important bit? Mental, I'm telling you!" Ron said shaking his head.

"Yes well, Potter cannot be credited with an overabundance of intellect, clearly the shock has fried what few brain cells he had that functioned," Snape said taking a sip of his tea, shuddering when he found it had gone cold and casting a quick warming charm to rectify the problem.

"Severus, it is unsporting to insult someone who isn't around to defend themselves," Dumbledore chided.

**"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl - a long quill, and a roll of parchment.**

Hermione frowned.

"I'll have to have a word with Hagrid about that, he's usually so careful with animals," she murmured.

With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:

_**Dear Professor Dumbledore,**_

_**Given Harry his letter. **_

_**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.**_

**_Weather's horrible. Hope you're well._**

**_Hagrid_**

"Well, that's Hagrid, succinct as always," chuckled Fred.

"It is one of the qualities that I admire most about our dear Gamekeeper, Hagrid is singularly gifted at solving the problems he comes up against without consulting me for permission about every single detail. It is refreshing," Dumbledore commented.

Though no one responded to his comment he wasn't pinned with the combined death glares of the room.

**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.**

"Owl post is loads easier than using that muggle contraption," Ron muttered darkly.

"Hardly," snorted Hermione, "If you would just do as I asked and call me during the summer for practice you would have it in no time,"

"Why bother when I have an owl?"

"Yes, because poor Errol deserves to fly up and down the country twice a -"

"Miss. Granger, Mr. Weasley, this is I suspect an argument for another time," McGonagall said warningly.

"Sorry professor," chorused the friends.

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.**

**"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

**"He's not going," he said.**

**Hagrid grunted.**

**"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

**"A what?" said Harry, interested.**

"Why on earth would you be interested in muggles, Potter?" asked Malfoy scoffing.

"It's not that he's interested in muggles themselves, he's expanding his vocabulary," said Hermione in a lecturing voice.

**"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on,"**

"Literally and figuratively," muttered Hermione.

**"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "Swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!" **

**"You knew!" said Harry, "You knew I'm a - a wizard!" **

**"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly, "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that-that **_**school**_**-and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"**

"Jealous much?" snorted Ron.

"Who wouldn't be watching someone less unworthy be gifted with magic?" said Malfoy.

"Mr. Malfoy, if you do not cease your baiting and hateful comments I shall be forced to remove your mouth," McGonagall warned.

"Now, Minerva, that's a bit harsh, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion,"

"I'm not removing his opinions, Albus, I would simply be removing his ability to irritate me with them,"

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.**

**"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as - as - abnormal - and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"**

"Blown up?" said Ron looking confused, "But the green light…"

"Yeah, the Killing Curse kills clean-"

"-there's no blowing up involved,"

Dumbledore glanced at Snape, but when it seemed unlikely he was going to volunteer the information the Headmaster explained.

"Voldemort brought several Death Eaters along on that night to dismantle the additional protections on the house, block off the floo and set up an Anti-Apparation Jinx, as far as the aurors were able to determine. In any case it seems likely that one of them set the blast that destroyed the Potter house and mutilated the remains of the Potters,"

**Harry had gone very white. **

**As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up. You told me they died in a car crash!" **

**"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner, "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!" **

**"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.**

**"I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh - but someone's gotta - yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin',"**

**"Would have been funny though," said Fred.**

"Oh great Merlin, it's Harry Potter, can I have your autograph?" squealed George in a girlish falsetto.

"Er…why?" said Fred pretending to be Harry as George swayed towards him.

"Can I see your scar?"

"How did you know I had a scar?"

"Do you remember what You-Know-Who looked like?"

"Uh…I'm sorry, who are we talking about?"

"You-Know-Who!"

"Er…no, I really don't,"

Ron snorted. Hermione glared at him.

"Come on, Mione, you have to admit it would have been hilarious,"

"Moving forward," sneered Snape warningly.

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.**

**"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it..." He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called - but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows -"**

**"Who?"**

"Harry's gonna make Hagrid say You-Know-Who's name!" said Ron.

"Honestly Ronald, _you _should be saying Voldemort's name, fear of the name only increases the fear of the thing itself,"

"Five points to Gryffindor for your excellent reasoning Miss. Granger," said Dumbledore with a smile.

**"Well - I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does." **

**"Why not?" **

**"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was..." Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

**"Could you write it down." Harry suggested.**

**"Nah -can't spell it. All right – Voldemort," Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this - this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches... terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed 'em. Horribly.**

**One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.**

"It makes you think," said Ron softly.

"What does Mr. Weasley?"asked McGonagall.

"Of what would have happened if Harry hadn't somehow stopped him that night, you know?"

Hermione took his hand and laced her fingers with his.

"But it didn't, so there's no use worrying over it," she said with a small smile, "Isn't that what you're always telling me?"

"Ugh, I see the future, it has bushy redheaded half-blood traitor bookworms," said Malfoy.

Ron and Hermione glared at him but their fingers remained intertwined.

**Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.**

"Or that they had an ounce of common sense," said Fred rolling his eyes.

**Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em... maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' - an' -"**

**Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.**

**"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad - knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find-"**

Snape snorted disgustedly but the assembled ignored him to engrossed in Hagrid's story.

"**Anyway...You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then - an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing - he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. **

**Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a Powerful, evil curse touches yeh - took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even - but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age - the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts - an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."**

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind.**

"An actual thought perhaps," drawled Malfoy.

**As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before - and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.**

"That's so awful, to have such clear memories of that night…" said Hermione shaking her head.

**Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

**"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot..."**

**"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. **

"How would he know?" demanded Fred.

"Yeah! He's not a wizard, his wife wasn't involved in the war!" George added.

"Stupid git, he should just shut up and mind his own damn business," Ron grumbled.

"Ron, language!"

"Oh, c'mon Mione,"

**Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.**

**"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured - and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion - asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types - just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"**

"Would somebody please curse him?" demanded Malfoy.

"Any of us, if we could get out of here," snarled Ron.

Hermione blinked, having not been around to witness the first momentous agreement between Ron and Malfoy.

"Why would you want to curse him, Malfoy? You like making Harry miserable," she pointed out, "And taunting him about his parents,"

"It's the principle of the thing Granger, the Potters, though mud-" Malfoy seemed to think better of his choice of phrasing given his current company, "Muggleborns and blood traitors, are still wizards which makes them well above this prime example of muggle trash, he has no right to insult his betters and should be taught a lesson,"

"And here I thought you might be developing some sympathy for Harry, pity,"

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley -I'm warning you - one more word... "**

"C'mon, say one more word, make it really insulting," begged Ron.

**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

**"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.**

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.**

**"But what happened to Vol-, sorry - I mean, You-Know-Who?"**

**"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see...he was gettin' more an' more powerful - why'd he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back. Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on - I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin' about you stumped him, all right." **

**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard. Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?**

"Why indeed," muttered Snape.

**"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."**

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.**

**"Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"**

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it... every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry... chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach... dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back... and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got ****his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?**

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.**

**"See." said Hagrid, "Harry Potter, not a wizard - you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."**

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

"Oh, for the love of Merlin, why is he even bothering?" asked Ron throwing up his hands.

"Sheer thick headedness if you ask me," said Fred.

**"Haven't I told you he's not going!" he hissed, "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands and-"**

**"If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid, "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born." **

"My name has been down since I was conceived," sniffed Malfoy.

"So? Ron's name's been down since before we knew what his name was going to be," said Fred.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Bill did it, the minute we knew mum was preggers again,"

McGonagall chuckled.

"I remember, your brother burst into my office and begged me to let him put you on the list as Another Weasley,"

"Can we please get back to the book?" scowled Malfoy, crossing his arms huffily.

Apparently he really couldn't take being outdone by a Weasley at anything.

"**He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled-" **

**"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.**

"Ooh, now he's done it," said Ron gleefully.

**But he had finally gone too far.**

**Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER," he thundered, "- INSULT- ALBUS- DUMBLEDORE- IN- FRONT- OF- ME!"**

**He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley - there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.**

"Oh dear," said Dumbledore, "While I appreciate Hagrid's loyal fervor, I'll have to have a talk with him about using magic on muggles and making sure the punishment is delivered to the actual antagonist,"

**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.**

**"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "But it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do,"**

At this comment there was an amused snort from the assembled Weasleys.

**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.**

**"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job,"**

**"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.**

**"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."**

**"Why were you expelled?" **

**"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly, "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that." **

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.**

**"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' dormice in one o' the pockets."**

"And that is the end of the chapter," said McGonagall, "Who would like to read next?"

"I would please Professor McGonagall," said Hermione practically propelling herself off the sofa in order to raise her hand higher.

Malfoy and Snape both snorted.

"Relax Granger, we're not going anywhere, you'll have a plenty of chances to read," drawled Malfoy.

"Nobody asked you!" snapped Ron in Hermione's defense.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>And there you have another chapter! Just to clear a few things up we're at the end of fifth year after the DoM fiasco, Sirius is as far as canon is concerned dead and gone, but this is not canon this is theReadingverse! Those of you who have suggestions on how to rescue Padfoot from the veil feel free to tell me all about them in a review!

As always, let me know what you think, I love hearing from you guys!


	6. Chapter 6: Welcome to Diagon Alley

**The Reading: The Philosopher's Stone**

**Chapter Six: Welcome to Diagon Alley**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, bolded text is a direct transcript.

**Author's Note: **Welcome back, everyone, to the Reading! First of all I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, alerted and favourited, love you guys. Secondly I apologize for the long wait, but life guys, it gets in the way. Lastly, what on earth are you still doing listening to me? You've got an update, finally, go forth and read it!

* * *

><p>"While your defense of Miss. Granger is admirable, Mr. Weasley, it is hardly necessary," McGonagall interrupted.<p>

A bristling Hermione nodded her head emphatically.

"Precisely, I am quite capable of handling their snarkiness on my own," she snapped.

"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a knot, I was just trying to help,"

"Well, don't,"

"As highly entertaining as this drama is not, can we not proceed to the necessary evil?"

Ron fixed Snape with a glare but in an impressive feat of self-control held his tongue. Hermione sniffed in a fair imitation of McGonagall and bent her head to the book.

"**Chapter Five: Diagon Alley,"**

**Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight.**

**"It was a dream," he told himself firmly, "I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard,"**

"Potter and his unflagging pessimism is starting to depress even me," Malfoy complained.

Ron rolled his eyes.

**There was suddenly a loud tapping noise.**

**And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door, Harry thought, his heart sinking. But he still didn't open his eyes. It had been such a good dream.**

**Tap. Tap. Tap.**

**"All right," Harry mumbled, "I'm getting up."**

**He sat up and Hagrid's heavy coat fell off him. The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak.**

"Wouldn't Harry be able to tell the difference between a coat and floor and his bed and blanket?" Hermione asked of no one in particular.

"Apparently not," Ron answered frowning.

**Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid's coat.**

**"Don't do that!"**

**Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped its beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the coat.**

**"Hagrid!" said Harry loudly. "There's an owl!"**

**"Pay him," Hagrid grunted into the sofa.**

**"What?"**

**"He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets." **

**Hagrid's coat seemed to be made of nothing but pockets - bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs, teabags...finally, Harry pulled out a handful of strange-looking coins.**

**"Give him five Knuts," said Hagrid sleepily.**

**"Knuts?"**

**"The little bronze ones."**

**Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window. Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up, and stretched.**

**"Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school."**

**Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them. He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture.**

"You cannot be serious! Got a puncture," said Malfoy disgustedly.

"Shut up, Malfoy," chorused Ron, Hermione, and the Twins.

**"Um - Hagrid."**

**"Mm," said Hagrid, who was pulling on his huge boots.**

**"I haven't got any money - and you heard Uncle Vernon last night ... he won't pay for me to go and learn magic."**

"Not that it matters, the Potter inheritance while not in the same league as the Blacks' or the Malfoys' was sizable and it's been gathering interest for going on fifteen years, Potter won't ever have money trouble," Malfoy informed them lazily.

Ron scowled a bit but said nothing.

"Fascinating, you can retain all that information about a rival's resources and I'm still kicking your skinny little butt at Arithmacy," Hermione said with equal casualness, not even sparing the lounging blond a glance as she turned the page.

The Twins snickered. Malfoy scowled darkly.

**"Don't worry about that," said Hagrid, standing up and scratching his head.**

**"D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?" **

**"But if their house was destroyed -" **

**"They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage, they're not bad cold - an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake, neither." **

**"Wizards have banks?" **

**"Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins."**

**Harry dropped the bit of sausage he was holding.**

**"Goblins."**

**"Yeah - so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe - 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business," Hagrid drew himself up proudly, "He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you gettin' things from Gringotts - knows he can trust me, see. Got everythin'? Come on, then."**

**Harry followed Hagrid out onto the rock. The sky was quite clear now and the sea gleamed in the sunlight. The boat Uncle Vernon had hired was still there, with a lot of water in the bottom after the storm.**

**"How did you get here?" Harry asked, looking around for another boat.**

**"Flew," said Hagrid.**

**"Flew?"**

"Flew on what?" Ron demanded.

**"Yeah - but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now that I've got yeh."**

**They settled down in the boat, Harry still staring at Hagrid, trying to imagine him flying.**

**"Seems a shame ter row, though," said Hagrid, giving Harry another of his sideways looks.**

"Oh, Hagrid," sighed Hermione exasperatedly.

**"If I was ter - er - speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?"**

**"Of course not," said Harry, eager to see more magic. **

**Hagrid pulled out the pink umbrella again, tapped it twice on the side of the boat, and they sped off toward land.**

**"Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?" Harry asked.**

"Because even if you escaped the bank itself –"

"—a feat that has only every been accomplished once in the entire history of the bank—"

"—the Goblins would hunt you down—"

"—flay you—"

"—fillet you, and do all sorts of other nasty painful things to your body for cheating them,"

**"Spells - enchantments," said Hagrid, unfolding his newspaper as he spoke. "They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults,"**

"There are," Malfoy confirmed.

"We know," chorused the Weasleys.

"Charlie's been campaigning for better treatment for them for years now," Ron said shaking his head.

"It's disgusting! The only reason the goblins have gotten away with it is because Gringotts and its holdings are a separate Nation State and they're allowed to breed their own dragons," Hermione said outraged.

"The book, Miss. Granger," Snape prodded wearily.

"**And then yeh gotta find yer way - Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat." **

**Harry sat and thought about this while Hagrid read his newspaper, the Daily Prophet. Harry had learned from Uncle Vernon that people liked to be left alone while they did this, but it was very difficult, he'd never had so many questions in his life.**

**"Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual," Hagrid muttered, turning the page.**

**"There's a Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself.**

**"'Course," said Hagrid. "They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o'course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice."**

"I must confess this past year has been a delightful reprieve," Dumbledore commented.

**"But what does a Ministry of Magic do?"**

**"Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country." **

"The fact that people think that is just one reason why Fudge should be ousted and the Ministry restructured or disbanded," Malfoy commented.

"I couldn't agree more, the fact that our government is more concerned about covering magic up than running our society is appalling," agreed Hermione fiercely, "Would you like to join my movement for political reform?"

"Mione!" Ron protested.

"No," Malfoy sneered.

**"Why?"**

**"Why? Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone." **

**At this moment the boat bumped gently into the harbor wall. Hagrid folded up his newspaper, and they clambered up the stone steps onto the street.**

Passersby stared a lot at Hagrid as they walked through the little town to the station. Harry couldn't blame them.

**Not only was Hagrid twice as tall as anyone else, he kept pointing at perfectly ordinary things like parking meters and saying loudly, "See that, Harry? Things these Muggles dream up, eh?"**

"No discretion," McGonagall muttered with a put upon sigh.

"I've been thinking, professor," Hermione started, "Wouldn't it be better if rather than running the teachers ragged trying to visit all the Muggleborns and their families and take them to Diagon Alley and the like, if the upper year students who are of age volunteered to go around and do it? You could teach a short workshop, by then they all have their apparating licence-"

"It isn't a bad idea Miss. Granger and I will certainly give it some thought, but now is not really the time to go into the details," McGonagall pointed out.

"Oh, right, yes, of course,"

Hermione cleared her throat, properly, and continued to read.

**"Hagrid," said Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up, "Did you say there are dragons at Gringotts?" **

**"Well, so they say," said Hagrid, "Crikey, I'd like a dragon." **

"Good grief," Hermione sighed.

"And that right there, explains so much," Ron muttered.

**"You'd like one?" **

**"Wanted one ever since I was a kid - here we go."**

"So did Charlie, I s'pect that's why he always got on so well with Hagrid," said George.

**They had reached the station. There was a train to London in five minutes' time. Hagrid, who didn't understand Muggle money, as he called it, gave the bills to Harry so he could buy their tickets. People stared more than ever on the train. Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow circus tent.**

"Wonder what that's for," said Ron staring at the book as if he could divine the knitted tent's purpose just by staring hard enough.

**"Still got yer letter, Harry?" he asked as he counted stitches.**

"It's amazing how dextrous he is with such large fingers," Hermione commented.

"No one cares, Granger," Malfoy drawled.

**Harry took the parchment envelope out of his pocket.**

**"Good," said Hagrid, "There's a list there of everything yeh need."**

**Harry unfolded a second piece of paper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY **_

_**UNIFORM **_

_**First-year students will require: **_

_**1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)**_

_**2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear**_

"Does anyone even wear their hats anymore?" Ron demanded of no one in particular.

_**3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)**_

_**4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)**_

_**Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags.**_

_**COURSE BOOKS**_

_**All students should have a copy of each of the following:**_

_**The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk **_

_**A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot **_

_**Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling **_

_**A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emetic Switch **_

_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore **_

_**Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger**_

_**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander**_

_**The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble **_

_**OTHER EQUIPMENT**_

_**Wand **_

_**Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) **_

_**Set of glass or crystal phials**_

_**Telescope **_

_**Set of brass scales **_

_**Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad.**_

_**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.**_

**"Can we buy all this in London?" Harry wondered aloud.**

**"If yeh know where to go," said Hagrid.**

**Harry had never been to London before. Although Hagrid seemed to know where he was going, he was obviously not used to getting there in an ordinary way. He got stuck in the ticket barrier on the Underground, and complained loudly that the seats were too small and the trains too slow.**

"That's not out of the ordinary at all," said Hermione, "My Mum took the Underground every day for years and she still complains that the seats are too small and the trains too slow,"

**"I don't know how the Muggles manage without magic," he said as they climbed a broken-down escalator that led up to a bustling road lined with shops.**

"Innovation," Hermione declared proudly.

Malfoy snorted but made no comment.

**Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him.**

"Dead useful, that," Ron said.

**They passed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand. This was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. **

"Of course it is, Harry, Hagrid just finished explaining to you that the Wizarding World is hidden from muggles, you can't really expect there to be a wand shop in full view of the public, honestly," Hermione scolded the book.

**Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them? Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks? Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had cooked up?**

The Twins scoffed.

"Those idiots wouldn't know a prank—"

"—if it bit them on the arse,"

"Boys, watch your language!" scolded McGonagall.

**If Harry hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor, he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn't help trusting him.**

"Such foolish sentiment," sneered Snape.

**"This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "The Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."**

**It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there. The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all. In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it. Before he could mention this, Hagrid had steered him inside.**

**For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut. The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in.**

**Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?"**

**"Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry's shoulder and making Harry's knees buckle.**

"That wasn't terribly discreet of him," frowned Hermione.

"Blimey, Harry's gonna get mobbed," said Ron.

**"Good Lord," said the bartender, peering at Harry, "is this - can this be -"**

**The Leaky Cauldron had suddenly gone completely still and silent.**

**"Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter... what an honor." He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes.**

**"Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back." **

**Harry didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him. The old woman with the pipe was puffing on it without realizing it had gone out.**

**Hagrid was beaming.**

**Then there was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with everyone in the Leaky Cauldron.**

"Oh come on!" groaned Malfoy.

Snape sneered.

"Sickening,"

**"Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last!"**

**"So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud!"**

**"Always wanted to shake your hand - I'm all of a flutter!"**

**"Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle!"**

**"I've seen you before!" said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement, "You bowed to me once in a shop." **

"Oh, for the love of Merlin," sighed McGonagall.

**"He remembers!" cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone, "Did you hear that? He remembers me!" **

**Harry shook hands again and again - Doris Crockford kept coming back for more.**

**A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching.**

**"Professor Quirrell!" said Hagrid. "Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."**

**"P-P-Potter," stammered Professor Quirrell, grasping Harry's hand, "C-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you." **

"I'd forgotten how annoying that stutter was," Malfoy said.

**"What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?"**

**"D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it. "N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter." He laughed nervously. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose. I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself."**

**He looked terrified at the very thought.**

"Whatever happened to him anyway?" Malfoy asked.

"He crumbled under the pressure?" suggested Ron with a snicker.

The teachers and Hermione shot him collective disgusted looks.

"Ronald that is completely insensitive!" Hermione scolded.

"But true, y'know, sort of,"

"That will be ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley, Miss. Granger, if you would," said McGonagall gesturing at the book.

But the others wouldn't let Professor Quirrell keep Harry to himself. It took almost ten minutes to get away from them all. At last, Hagrid managed to make himself heard over the babble.

**"Must get on - lots ter buy. Come on, Harry."**

**Doris Crockford shook Harry's hand one last time, and Hagrid led them through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds.**

**Hagrid grinned at Harry.**

"He subjected Harry to that completely on purpose!" Hermione said with childlike indignation.

"Better to prepare for it I guess," said Ron dubiously.

**"Told yeh, didn't I. Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh - mind you, he's usually tremblin'."**

**"Is he always that nervous?"**

At this Ron and Hermione gave identical snorts of derision. Those who knew the real truth about Professor Quirrell found themselves agreeing with their assessment of the situation. Draco and the Twins were just confused but since no one ever explained anything to them, they kept quiet about it not wanting to interrupt.

**"Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience... They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag - never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject now, where's me umbrella?"**

"I never did understand why you allowed Quirrinus to teach when he was clearly unhinged, that boy should have stayed in Muggle Studies," McGonagall commented glancing at Dumbledore.

"Minerva you recall the extreme difficulty we've had persuading anybody to teach Defense these past few years and Quirrinus was terribly eager in the beginning, most unfortunate that his initial plans fell through," Dumbledore said with a grave little headshake.

**Vampires. Hags. Harry's head was swimming. Hagrid, meanwhile, was counting bricks in the wall above the trash can.**

**"Three up... two across," he muttered, "Right, stand back, Harry."**

**He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella.**

**The brick he had touched quivered - it wriggled - in the middle, a small hole appeared - it grew wider and wider - a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Hagrid, an archway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight.**

**"Welcome," said Hagrid, "to Diagon Alley."**

**He grinned at Harry's amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall.**

**The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop.**

"An appalling method of storing perfectly good cauldrons," Snape commented.

Hermione jumped slightly at the sound of his voice for she'd almost forgotten he was there.

'_**Cauldrons - All Sizes - Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver - Self-Stirring - Collapsible**_**,' said a sign hanging over them.**

"I believe I shall curse the next dunderhead who brings a collapsible cauldron into my classroom, those things are death traps,"

"Severus you may not curse the students," McGonagall pointed out.

"Fifty points, and a week's detention with Filch then,"

**"Yeah, you'll be needin' one," said Hagrid, "but we gotta get yer money first."**

**Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. **

**A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, "Dragon liver, seventeen Sickles an ounce, they're mad..."**

"Dragons shouldn't be needlessly slaughtered for their usefulness as potions ingredients!" Hermione bristled with outrage.

Snape was about two seconds away from launching into a prolonged debate with the bushy haired brainiac before he remembered she was a fifth year Gryffindor and that initiating a debate in the middle of a semi-time-sensitive activity could only end in his further misery, thus he merely shot her a superior sneer.

**A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying **_**Eeylops Owl Emporium - Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy.**_

**Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it.**

**"Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand - fastest ever -" **

"Tch. Males, it must be some kind of genetic defect," Hermione muttered.

**There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon...**

**"Gringotts," said Hagrid.**

**They had reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was - "Yeah, that's a goblin," said Hagrid quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him. The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry.**

"Good lord, I'd forgotten how miniature St. Potter was in first year," Malfoy commented.

"He wasn't that short," Hermione protested.

"The only reason you're saying that, Mione, is because you were only, what? Three, four inches taller?

**He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside. Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them:**

_**Enter, stranger, but take heed **_

_**Of what awaits the sin of greed,**_

_**For those who take, but do not earn, **_

_**Must pay most dearly in their turn.**_

_**So if you seek beneath our floors**_

_**A treasure that was never yours,**_

_**Thief, you have been warned, beware **_

_**Of finding more than treasure there.**_

"I always liked that poem," McGonagall said offhandedly.

"Bloodthirsty is what that is," Ron said shaking his head.

"But entirely accurate," Hermione pointed out.

**"Like I said, Yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it," said Hagrid.**

**A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a ****vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses.**

**There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter.**

"Gringotts actually extends farther underground than even the vaults are located, the goblins have carved out a veritable warren of tunnels and chambers and they have fixed portals that allow them to transport goods and occasionally people between their branches. Quite ingenious," Dumbledore told them.

"Have you seen the portals, professor? I've been trying to work out how to fix one using runes but I can't seem to overcome the difficulties with regards to energy, I've been trying to research the goblin wrought gates but there is very little material on the subject," Hermione said intently.

"I have not had the pleasure Miss. Granger, no wizard has. I have every confidence that you will discover your answers in due time," said Dumbledore his eyes twinkling merrily.

**"Morning," said Hagrid to a free goblin, "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe."**

**"You have his key, Sir?" **

"I've never found that method to be comforting, just because it is nearly impossible to steal anything directly doesn't mean that fraud can't occur," Hermione pointed out.

"That's not the goblins' problem though," Fred pointed out.

"They expect you to keep people from stealing your things outside of Gringotts, as far as they're concerned seizure of the key is tatamount to seizure of the wealth," George continued.

"It's why the real fortunes are in the vaults without keys, you pay an extravagent fee for the protection against theft," Fred finished.

"And nothing about that seems backwords and self-serving to you?" Hermione demanded.

"They're goblins, Mione, 'course they're self-serving," Ron said.

Hermione huffed but sensing she would get nowhere decided to keep reading.

**"Got it here somewhere," said Hagrid, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a handful of moldy dog biscuits over the goblin's book of numbers. **

**The goblin wrinkled his nose. Harry watched the goblin on their right weighing a pile of rubies as big as glowing coals.**

**"Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden key.**

**The goblin looked at it closely.**

**"That seems to be in order."**

**"An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore," said Hagrid importantly, throwing out his chest. "It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen."**

Ron and Hermione let out identical groans.

"Hagrid," they chorused.

"So this is where it started is it?" McGonagall said eying the book with a disapproving expression as if that could change the fact the Harry's curiosity had been piqued.

"What? What am I missing here?" Malfoy demanded.

"Yeah, don't leave us—"

"—completely in the dark here!" agreed the Twins.

"The infernal excuse for a paper product will no doubt reveal the full depth of Potter's meddling lunacy, cease your whining," Snape sneered.

**The goblin read the letter carefully.**

**"Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!"**

**Griphook was yet another goblin. Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall.**

**"What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Harry asked.**

**"Can't tell yeh that," said Hagrid mysteriously. "Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that."**

Professor McGonagall let her head fall into her hand and let out a put upon sigh.

"Albus…" she started, sounding like she was gearing up for a familiar argument.

"Later, my dear," Dumbledore said, "We don't want to get side tracked,"

McGonagall mumbled something that was no doubt very uncomplimentary but didn't press the matter, so Hermione continued reading.

**Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised. They were in a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them. They climbed in - Hagrid with some difficulty - and were off.**

**At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry tried to remember, left, right, right, left, middle fork, right, left, but it was impossible.**

"Better than we ever managed," grumbled Fred.

**The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering.**

**Harry's eyes stung as the cold air rushed past them, but he kept them wide open. Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was a dragon, but too late - - they plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor.**

**"I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "What's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?"**

**"Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid. "An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick." **

"That is not what he meant Hagrid," sighed Hermione annoyed that Harry had been denied this chance to further his knowledge of geology.

**He did look very green, and when the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling.**

**Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.**

"A trust vault, interesting," Malfoy said to himself.

"Why?" demanded Ron glaring at the blond.

"Nothing to concern yourself over, Weasley," he sneered in return.

**"All yours," smiled Hagrid.**

**All Harry's - it was incredible. The Dursleys couldn't have known about this or they'd have had it from him faster than blinking. How often had they complained how much Harry cost them to keep.**

"Can't be that much—"

"—seeing as how there's only one of Harry—"

"—a teeny one at that, and it's not like they pay to—"

"—feed him, or clothe him, or send him to school,"

**And all the time there had been a small fortune belonging to him, buried deep under London. Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag.**

**"The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough,"**

"It's ridiculous is what it is," grumbled Hermione, "They had to pick indivisible numbers just to make things complicated,"

"**Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh." He turned to Griphook, "Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?"**

**"One speed only," said Griphook.**

**They were going even deeper now and gathering speed. The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine, and Harry leaned over the side to try to see what was down at the dark bottom, but Hagrid groaned and pulled him back by the scruff of his neck.**

**Vault seven hundred and thirteen had no keyhole.**

**"Stand back," said Griphook importantly.**

**He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away.**

**"If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there," said Griphook.**

**"How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked.**

**"About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin**.

"Bloodthirsty," Ron said with a vindicated nod.

**Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure, and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least - but at first he thought it was empty. Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor. Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat. Harry longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask.**

**"Come on, back in this infernal cart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," said Hagrid.**

**One wild cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts. Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life - more money than even Dudley had ever had.**

**"Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward _Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions_.**

**"Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts." **

"Albus!" McGonagall demanded gesturing at the book.

"Yes, yes, I'll have a talk with Hagrid, not to worry Minerva,"

**He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous.**

**Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve.**

**"Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here - another young man being fitted up just now, in fact,"**

**In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes.**

"Bloody hell, it's Malfoy!" Ron declared.

"Odd, how I have absolutely no recollection of this," Malfoy commented in a bored drawling voice.

**Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him, slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length.**

"You don't suppose…" started Hermione then she shook her head and kept reading.

**"Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?"**

**"Yes," said Harry.**

**"My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy.**

"Why on earth would she do that? She's a pureblood, she's owned a wand, everyone knows you have to connect with your own wand it's not like she could buy your wand for you," Hermione pointed out.

Malfoy's typically bold, arrogant grey eyes sought the floor. Avoiding her searching gaze.

"None of your business, Granger," he said lazily.

Hermione knew with one shrewd glance that Malfoy was embarrassed but knew it would be useless to try and call him out, so she pressed on.

**He had a bored, drawling voice. **

**"Then I'm going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow."**

**Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley.**

Malfoy's top lip curled away from his teeth in a silent snarl and his normally porcelain skin gained a pinkish tinge upon being compared to someone he thoroughly disliked and disdained and who was a bloody muggle no less. Surprisingly though it was George that actually spoke up in Malfoy's defense.

"At least this one is honest about being dishonest and he's got half a brain floating around under all that blondness somewhere," the Weasley Twin said snorting and jerking his thumb in Malfoy's general direction.

**"Have you got your own broom?" the boy went on.**

**"No," said Harry.**

**"Play Quidditch at all?"**

**"No," Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be.**

**"I do - Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?"**

**"No," said Harry, feeling more stupid by the minute.**

**"Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been - imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"**

"Oh, now I remember, so that was Potter, interesting,"

**"Mmm," said Harry, wishing he could say something a bit more interesting.**

**"I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there, grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in.**

**"That's Hagrid," said Harry, pleased to know something the boy didn't, "He works at Hogwarts."**

**"Oh," said the boy, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?"**

**"He's the gamekeeper," said Harry. **

**He was liking the boy less and less every second.**

**"Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of savage - lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed."**

Unsurprisingly the assembled, most of which were very fond of Hagrid, glared at Malfoy. The blond even winced slightly at his own words.

**"I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly.**

**"Do you." said the boy, with a slight sneer. "Why is he with you? Where are your parents?"**

**"They're dead," said Harry shortly. **

**He didn't feel much like going into the matter with this boy.**

**"Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding sorry at all. "But they were our kind, weren't they?"**

**"They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean." **

**"I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?"**

Malfoy glared darkly at the book. The collective weight of the disapproval radiating from every Gryffindor present was stifling, and it was completely the book's fault that he was feeling a bit of a twinge in his stomach that felt suspiciously like guilt. He was, Morgana help him, sympathizing with St. Potter because of this stupid book.

He'd held Potter's rejection of his offer of friendship against him for a very long time and it was uncomfortable having it revealed to him that the entire debacle was his own fault. He'd been groomed from birth to charm, he could have had Potter in his pocket with the slightest bit of effort, but he'd been to self-absorbed to pick up on the cues Potter had been broadcasting and truthfully unconcerned what a shrimp with large green eyes and appalling hair thought.

**But before Harry could answer, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry, not sorry for an excuse to stop talking to the boy, hopped down from the footstool.**

**"Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose," said the drawling boy.**

"Well, at least now we know why Harry hates you," said Ron blinking slightly as if he'd just been whacked across the head.

**Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream Hagrid had bought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts).**

**"What's up?" said Hagrid.**

**"Nothing," Harry lied.**

**They stopped to buy parchment and quills. Harry cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color as you wrote. **

**When they had left the shop, he said, "Hagrid, what's Quidditch?"**

**"Blimey, Harry, I keep forgettin' how little yeh know - not knowin' about Quidditch!" **

**"Don't make me feel worse," said Harry. **

**He told Hagrid about the pale boy in Madam Malkin's.**

**"-and he said people from Muggle families shouldn't even be allowed in."**

**"Yer not from a Muggle family. If he'd known who yeh were - he's grown up knowin' yer name if his parents are wizardin' folk. You saw what everyone in the Leaky Cauldron was like when they saw yeh. Anyway, what does he know about it, some o' the best I ever saw were the only ones with magic in 'em in a long line o' Muggles - look at yer mum! Look what she had fer a sister!" **

"What was Harry's mum like?" asked Ron looking to McGonagall and Dumbledore for an answer.

Surprisingly it was Snape that spoke.

"Lily Evans was quite possibly the most gifted witch of her time, she had extraordinary insight into spell-crafting and potion making and enough raw power to follow through on her theories, had she lived I have no doubt the Wizarding world would have been revolutionized. Besides which she was exceedingly soft-hearted and had the tendency to rush into things without thinking them through, for the sake of young animals and small children,"

"You knew Lily, then?" said Hermione, the first to get over her shock.

"We were good friends until the end of our fifth year,"

"I'd never seen a pair of more stubborn idiots, except perhaps Potter and Black," McGonagall said bluntly, "You refused to apologize, she refused to demand you apologize and it was the breaking of a friendship, I would have laid odds was unbreakable,"

Snape sneered.

"There is no such thing as unbreakable," he said simply.

There was an awkward silence hovering on the horizon so Hermione went back to reading before anyone could get to uncomfortable.

**"So what is Quidditch?" **

**"It's our sport. Wizard sport. It's like - like soccer in the Muggle world - everyone follows Quidditch - played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls - sorta hard ter explain the rules." **

"No it isn't!" chorused the Weasleys and McGonagall outraged on behalf of their sport.

**"And what are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?"**

**"School houses. There's four. Everyone says Hufflepuff are a lot o' duffers, but -" **

"Tosh!" Hermione declared, "Some of the nicest people I've ever met were Hufflepuffs,"

"Smith is bloody annoying," Ron said out of the blue.

"Ron…"

Ron held up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender.

"I'm not saying anything else about it, relax," he said.

**"I bet I'm in Hufflepuff" said Harry gloomily.**

**"Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," said Hagrid darkly. "There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one."**

"And that explains Harry's general dislike of Slytherins, between the blood purity sentiment, Malfoy's snobbery and Hagrid's grudge against the house…And to think all this happened in one day!" Hermione exclaimed.

**"Vol-, sorry - You-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?"**

**"Years an' years ago," said Hagrid.**

**They bought Harry's school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all.**

Hermione let out a distinctly girlish sigh, seemingly in raptures just thinking about it.

**Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these. Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue- Tying and Much, Much More) by Professor Vindictus Viridian.**

Fred and George chuckled malevolently, and the effect was creepy enough to send chills up the spines of the assembled.

"Got to love Viridian, got the soul of a prankster and a mean streak to boot," Fred said.

"A mean streak is a bad thing, Fred," Hermione pointed out frowning.

"Not when you want creative, humiliating revenge it's not," Fred answered.

"You're not supposed to go through with that creative humiliating revenge though," Hermione pointed out, "It's mean,"

"It wouldn't be revenge if it wasn't," George pointed out.

"If you would continue reading, Miss. Granger," Dumbledore urged shooting the Twins a quelling look.

"I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley."

Though the Twins didn't say anything triumphant smirks twitched in the corners of their lips.

"So, St. Potter isn't quite the paragon everyone thinks he is," said Malfoy smugly.

"Yes, well, you are not the paragon you think yourself to be so really you shouldn't talk, Malfoy," Hermione said sharply.

**"I'm not sayin' that's not a good idea, but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special circumstances," said Hagrid. "An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses yet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level."**

**Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either.**

"Thank the gods, every year there is some idiot…"

"Yes, we know Severus, gold melts, the anti-melting enchantments mess up the potion, they are ridiculously overpriced for being of so little use…" McGonagall cut him off rolling her eyes.

**("It says pewter on yer list"), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope. Then they visited the Apothecary, which was fascinating enough to make up for its horrible smell, a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages. Barrels of slimy stuff stood on the floor; jars of herbs, dried roots, and bright powders lined the walls; bundles of feathers, strings of fangs, and snarled claws hung from the ceiling. While Hagrid asked the man behind the counter for a supply of some basic potion ingredients for Harry, Harry himself examined silver unicorn horns at twenty-one Galleons each and minuscule, glittery-black beetle eyes (five Knuts a scoop).**

**Outside the Apothecary, Hagrid checked Harry's list again.**

**"Just yer wand left - A yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present."**

This brought a broad smile to Hermione's lips.

**Harry felt himself go red.**

**"You don't have to -"**

**"I know I don't have to. Tell yeh what, I'll get yer an animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at - an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'."**

**Twenty minutes later, they left Eeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering, jewel-bright eyes. Harry now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy owl, fast asleep with her head under her wing. He couldn't stop stammering his thanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell.**

**"Don' mention it," said Hagrid gruffly. "Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just Ollivanders left now - only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best wand."**

**A magic wand... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.**

**The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window.**

"An interesting story, about that," Dumbledore interrupted, "The wand in the window is the wand of the previous Ollivander child that ran the shop, the first one that child ever made,"

"Fascinating," said Hermione.

She looked like she might start grilling Dumbledore on the customs of the Ollivander family versus wandmakers in general or something equally off topic so Ron gave her a preemptive little nudge.

**A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.**

**"Good afternoon," said a soft voice.**

**Harry jumped. Hagrid must have jumped, too, because there was a loud crunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair.**

**An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop.**

**"Hello," said Harry awkwardly.**

**"Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon.**

**"Harry Potter."**

**It wasn't a question.**

**"You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."**

**Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.**

**"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it - it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."**

**Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes.**

**"And that's where..." Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger.**

**"I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly.**

**"Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands... well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do..."**

**He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid.**

**"Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again... Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it." "It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid.**

**"Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled." said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern.**

**"Er - yes, they did, yes," said Hagrid, shuffling his feet. "I've still got the pieces, though," he added brightly.**

**"But you don't use them." said Mr. Ollivander sharply.**

**"Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly. Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke.**

**"Hmmm," said Mr. Ollivander, giving Hagrid a piercing look. "Well, now - Mr. Potter. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket.**

**"Which is your wand arm?" **

**"Er - well, I'm right-handed," said Harry. **

**"Hold out your arm. That's it." **

**He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. **

**"I don't see why he bothers with the tape, it's not like you can tell anything about a wizard's wand based on how tall he is," Ron pointed out.**

**As he measured, he said, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."**

**Harry suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own. Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.**

**"That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. "Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. just take it and give it a wave."**

**Harry took the wand and (feeling foolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once.**

**"Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try -"**

**Harry tried - but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander.**

**"No, no -here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out."**

**Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr. Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.**

**"Tricky customer, eh. Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere - I wonder, now - - yes, why not - unusual combination - holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."**

**Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls. **

**Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well... how curious... how very curious... "**

**He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious... curious…"**

**"Sorry," said Harry, "but what's curious?"**

**Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.**

**"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather - just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother why, its brother gave you that scar."**

"What!" was the collective exclamation from the assembled.

"Bloody hell," said Ron, dumbfounded.

Snape said nothing but looked rather like he'd eaten something off.

Hermione was muttering about _priori incantatum_ and how of course she should have known immediately.

Malfoy clenched his teeth on an indignant sputter, Malfoys did not sputter.

The Twins made wild and highly amusing but unlikely speculations.

McGonagall gave Dumbledore a searching look and was unsurprised to find the Headmaster unsurprised.

**Harry swallowed.**

**"Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember... I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter... After all, He- Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things - terrible, yes, but great."**

**Harry shivered. He wasn't sure he liked Mr. Ollivander too much. He paid seven gold Galleons for his wand, and Mr. Ollivander bowed them from his shop.**

**The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as Harry and Hagrid made their way back down Diagon Alley, back through the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Harry didn't speak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much people were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all their funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Harry's lap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Harry only realized where they were when Hagrid tapped him on the shoulder.**

**"Got time fer a bite to eat before yer train leaves," he said.**

**He bought Harry a hamburger and they sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Harry kept looking around. Everything looked so strange, somehow.**

**"You all right, Harry. Yer very quiet," said Hagrid.**

**Harry wasn't sure he could explain. He'd just had the best birthday of his life - and yet - he chewed his hamburger, trying to find the words.**

**"Everyone thinks I'm special," he said at last. "All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr. Ollivander... but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry - I mean, the night my parents died."**

**Hagrid leaned across the table. Behind the wild beard and eyebrows he wore a very kind smile.**

**"Don' you worry, Harry. You'll learn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts - I did - still do, 'smatter of fact."**

"Well said," Hermione nodded sniffing suspiciously.

"Blimey, you're not going to cry are you?" Ron demanded looking uncomfortable.

"Don't be silly, Ronald," she said, but her eyes were overly bright.

**Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would take him back to the Dursleys, then handed him an envelope.**

**"Yer ticket fer Hogwarts," he said. "First o' September - King's Cross - it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me... See yeh soon, Harry."**

**The train pulled out of the station. Harry wanted to watch Hagrid until he was out of sight; he rose in his seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Hagrid had gone.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Hermione declared, marking the page with the dust cover.

"I still can't believe Harry never told us any of this," Ron said gesturing at the book.

"Can you blame him?" everyone turned to stare at Malfoy, the one who'd spoken, "If this chapter had been read by anyone else in the world, it would be in the Prophet that the Wizarding world's Golden Boy was the next Dark Lord or some other rubbish,"

"Idiots, as if Harry could ever go evil," Ron said.

"The only thing the public loves more than a hero is to tear a hero down," Hermione said shaking her head.

"Well, as wonderfully depressing as that is—"

"—it's Snape's turn to read!"

"No," Snape said flatly with a truly terrifying glare.

"Be a good sport, Severus," needled McGonagall.

Snape scowled.

"You'll have to read eventually, my dear boy," Dumbledore pointed out, "It's only fair,"

Snape's glare became truly sulfurous.

He and Dumbledore stared each other down for a good five minutes. Snape looked away first and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily.

He held out his arm imperiously and Hermione deposited the novel into his pale, long fingered hand.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> And that's the end of the longest chapter in the history of life!

I know this was a lot of material from the book but this chapter is full of passages I just couldn't bear to interrupt lest you miss out on their full effect.

For those of you who were wondering, yes, I'm going to do this every chapter, for every book up until book five. Plus there should be a few chapters with original plot in there. Needless to say this is going to be an extremely long project. Extremely long!

No, Neville and Luna will not join in for this book, but they will be reading in the books to come, so for those of you who are fans if you stick with it long enough you have something to look forward to.

Thanks so much for reading you guys, please drop me a review on your way out to let me know how you found it. As always suggestions are welcome and encouraged!


	7. Chapter 7: The Fate of the Story

**Author's Request: PLEASE READ!**

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><p>Hello there dearest readers! It's been a good long while.<p>

No, I'm sorry, unfortunately this is not an update. However, with a little bit of luck and some creative thinking it could turn into one!

So, it came to my attention a few years ago that this particular story is blatantly against the site rules. I wasn't aware of this at the time I started writing and since there were a lot of these floating around I didn't think that there would be a problem as long as I properly cited my sources and explicitly stated that this and that bit weren't mine.

However once I became aware of the situation I couldn't, in good conscience, continue to flout the rules and continue the story. So I've let it sit quietly so that people could continue to enjoy it but haven't made any moves to update.

Lately I've been thinking (and receiving a number of lovely reviews) and I would like to continue this work within the boundaries of the rules.

**What I propose to do is to change the story that the characters are reading, so that rather than reading ****The Books**** they will be reading a fanfiction of mine loosely following the outline of the books. **

When I first started this story I intended to do something similar—but not until after I'd reached the end of the fifth book (after which this story takes place)—because as you can see from the prologue the war described in this story did not resolve itself quite so neatly as in the actual books.

I'll likely leave the first chapters of the story as they are or modify them slightly for continuity's sake and then start off on this new tangent in the next chapter.

If you guys have any interest in seeing this story continued in this way I would love to hear your thoughts/questions/comments/and suggestions!

If the majority of you would rather see it left alone, however, I will leave it as it is and officially mark it as complete/abandoned, so as not to disappoint hopeful follow-and-favers.

Please let me know via PM or Review!

-thegenuineimitation

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><p><strong>PS:<strong> My sincerest apologies for taking this long to get to this point in the whole process! I certainly didn't mean to leave all of you dangling on the hook this long—forgive me?


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